Writing Journal

Worldbuilding for the Glass Crown, from 1 February.

Where are all these Workers coming from?

Nikki thinks that there are groups of Workers living out in other areas of Gary, and not just underneath the Five Fingers.  She says that they’d need to be on the outskirts of the city, even if it’s not yet converted, to drive off bands of animals. I would guess to assimilate or drive off wandering people, as well. With the push to abandon aboveground to give the sunlight to the farm, they’d only move underground if and when their local area gets converted. Otherwise, they’d use abandoned housing projects or apartment buildings – if any are still standing. She says that this would explain the waves of attacks, as more Workers make it in from further reaches of the city.

I can see that.

But how are they so well organized? They’ve all spent years having their will completely given over to the Body. Suddenly, they’re in control of themselves, save for the directive to stop the outsiders from leaving at all costs. How did they communicate well enough to organized the trap outside of the restaurant? Beyond communication, how are they practicing enough independent thought to operate several squads of Workers to close the trap?

Does the Crown return creative and independent thinking back to some of the Workers? After the machinations of the Right Hand and the betrayal of the Left Hand, likely not. In fact, he’s in physical agony and has been betrayed by his closest assistants. The trap would never have happened, instead it would be wave after wave of Workers gunning for them, wandering the city with single-minded purpose.

That scene will have to be rewritten, and everything after it.

Why hasn’t anyone from the group gotten shot? They’ve all been in enough battle that one of them should at least gotten winged, if not received a through-and-through gun shot wound. I’m not saying that it needs to be fatal, or even life-threatening, but the lack of bleeding is getting a mite bit unrealistic, even for a fantasy novel.

There’s no good reason that no one’s been shot. So, at least one of them needs to bleed. Robin, the helpless one, is a good bet. Though that might make her even more angsty about being a drain on the group. She might not be the best choice after all, I guess.

If Caroline gets shot, it’ll be all “Oh no, everyone panic and fuss over Caroline again!” Bleh. That already happens enough. Nikki says that Caroline getting shot can be used to strengthen her character, and add a physical aspect to the spiritual and psychological trials that she’s already survived. “You need to toughen that wimpy bitch up.” Getting shot, getting up, and giving everyone the Glare of Doom will further show how far she’s come. She’s not suggesting that Caroline shrug it off. She’s saying that Caroline needs to show some of the steel that Fierce saw when she gave her the dagger. Show some of what Madness is so afraid of that he’d try to kill her. “If she’s gonna stand up to the Rebuilder, she needs to be strong. If she’s gonna just leave, she can’t be weak.” That might just be fun to write.

I’m also thinking that the Right Hand should get hit. He should have a wound that requires him to have help to get into the restaurant, and will show that he can be hurt. Hang a lantern on it, have him all shocked about it. “I’ll be damned. I can be hurt.”