{"id":2321,"date":"2002-06-04T00:12:00","date_gmt":"2002-06-04T04:12:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/?p=2321"},"modified":"2020-07-25T19:04:56","modified_gmt":"2020-07-25T23:04:56","slug":"i-am-cornholio","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/?p=2321","title":{"rendered":"I AM CORNHOLIO"},"content":{"rendered":"

I cannot even imagine sleep at this moment.<\/p>\n

I ate some food that I made. I have determined that ANY food will make my stomach hate me, so I should just not eat.<\/p>\n

Maybe I should start using sunscreen, but then I’d be betraying Louis Black. Don’t TRUST that shit!!<\/p>\n

Ocean’s Eleven was a feel-good criminal movie. Gotta love them criminal sonsabitches. Oh, wait, implication on real life. Shit.<\/p>\n

Too close to good, life is too close to good. I should do my Kung Fu exercises so that my body will hate me.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I cannot even imagine sleep at this moment. I ate some food that I made. I have determined that ANY food will make my stomach hate me, so I should just not eat. Maybe I should start using sunscreen, but … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[34],"class_list":["post-2321","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-livejournal"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paQnES-Br","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2321"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5295,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2321\/revisions\/5295"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2321"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2321"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2321"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}