{"id":3523,"date":"2005-05-08T02:00:00","date_gmt":"2005-05-08T06:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/?p=3523"},"modified":"2020-09-02T20:36:09","modified_gmt":"2020-09-03T00:36:09","slug":"todd-eats-toast","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/?p=3523","title":{"rendered":"[] Todd eats toast."},"content":{"rendered":"

This entry is not the first in the Todd series. The back entries have been copied from to here, and can be seen either by going back in this journal, or in their entirety by going to .<\/lj><\/lj><\/p>\n


\n—
\nI don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
\nBut I think that God’s got a sick sense of humor
\nAnd when I die I expect to find Him laughing
\n– Depeche Mode, “Blasphemous Rumors”<\/b>
\n—
\nThe waitress slowly unloaded her heavy burden. \u201cWho had the smothered cheese fries with bacon? Thunk? Here you go. I’ll get our extra side of ranch in a second. Let’s see. Grilled chicken salad. That’s you, right Sheila? And last, but certainly not least, is the Grand Slam, eggs over easy and white toast. There you are, Todd.\u201d Thunk’s older sister smiled down at them. \u201cNeed a refill on those cokes?\u201d Everyone nodded. \u201cBe right back.\u201d They liked to eat at the Denny’s outside the mall after Sheila’s shift ended. You could hang out for hours without getting bitched out. It was right outside Sheila’s work, and Thunk’s older sister always made sure that the drinks never showed up on the bill. Of course, they teased Thunk incessantly about it.<\/lj-cut><\/p>\n

Todd started slathering his toast with strawberry jelly. Sheila was picking at her salad while Thunk was wolfing down his heart-attack-in-a-platter. Sheila mercilessly stabbed through a piece of onion, lettuce, and into a crouton. \u201cHow much do you think your uncle’s place is worth, Todd?\u201d Todd looked over at Sheila, toast almost in his mouth. He took a bite, and chewed thoughtfully.<\/p>\n

\u201cI dunno. I don’t even know how much a house usually goes for. I guess I’d have to get an inspector or something. And there’s so much stuff<\/i>, you guys. I mean, you could probably spend months just going through it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what?\u201d Sheila carefully dipped her salad in the little bowl of low-fat dressing. \u201cTons of boring old man junk. Probably better off in the trash.\u201d She crunched through her greens.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo way!\u201d Thunk actually put his fork down. Todd and Sheila just stared. \u201cNo way, man. All that stuff, all that junk… Todd’s uncle kept it for a reason, right? I mean, why would some old fogie keep stuff unless it had some kind of, uh, emotional connection? Reminded him of something, or whatever.\u201d Thunk looked from Todd to Sheila, then went bright red under their stares. \u201cLike my Grandma’s spoon collection.\u201d He squirmed for a few seconds before his friends burst into a gale of giggles.<\/p>\n

Sheila imitated an old woman’s voice and started clawing at Thunk. \u201cNot my spoooons! Please, Thunk, take anything else, but leave me my spoooooooons!\u201d Thunk tried to roll his eyes, but ended up chuckling along. \u201cThunk, you have the weirdest family ever.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI heard that.\u201d Thunk’s older sister sat the pop refills on the table while everyone did their best to look innocent. The waitress wagged a finger at them, then rushed to greet some recently-seated customers. They ate for a while in silence, but their dreams of what the house might hold were written all over their faces.<\/p>\n

Todd pushed his hash browns slowly across the plate. Then a piece of egg. If things had been normal, Thunk would have already asked him if he was gonna finish that. He stole a glance at Sheila, and he could have sworn that there were dollar signs in her eyes. He looked sideways at Thunk, who was trying to balance a spoon on his nose. All Todd could think about was the calliope. \u201cYou workin’ tomorrow?\u201d Sheila shook her head. \u201cPlans?\u201d Thunk shook his as well, sending the spoon flying. \u201cI say we meet up at Ralph’s house at one, tomorrow. I say we search the thing top to bottom, maybe figure out what old Ralph was all about.\u201d They both nodded agreement.<\/p>\n

Sheila grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a three-alarm kiss. When she let him go, she smiled dreamily at him. She grabbed Ralph’s old hat and placed it gently on her own head. \u201cMine.\u201d He had to admit, it looked better on her. Nobody noticed the cooks blaring Disturbed from the kitchen. Nobody saw the Oldsmobile pull in to the Denny’s parking lot.
\n—
\nLooking at my own reflection
\nWhen suddenly it changes
\nViolently it changes
\nOh no, There is no turning back now
\nYou’ve woken up the demon … in me!
\n– Disturbed, “Down With the Sickness”<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This entry is not the first in the Todd series. The back entries have been copied from to here, and can be seen either by going back in this journal, or in their entirety by going to . — I … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[],"tags":[9,28,34,15],"class_list":["post-3523","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","tag-carnival","tag-fiction","tag-livejournal","tag-writery"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paQnES-UP","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3523"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6469,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3523\/revisions\/6469"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3523"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3523"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/davidmcrampton.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3523"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}