My middle name is Michael.

My dad’s first name is Michael.

Michael (or the root of the name) is the name of one of the Archangels.

The one with the flaming sword.

The one that slew the Dragon.

I feel like I have both feet on the ground, and have a stable foundation, but have a chaotic, roiling cloud in the middle.

‘Splain?

Hrm.

Well, like the observations I’ve made about myself, and conclusions I’ve come to, have given me access to a lot of stability within myself that I was looking for externally.

But, no matter how much stability is in me, there’s change too… and especially with the time of year, there’s big change…

Oh, you should have seen the clouds this morning. Low-hanging, some so dark as to be bruises on the sky. Slow and sluggish, they denied the force of the wind that was whipping my canvas-type trench coat around my legs and body. I felt that, and my hair try to escape its tie, and couldn’t help but smile and laugh. The wind had a cold bite, the storm clouds could bring either thunder and lightning or snow.

And I was on time for work today.

This is my time of year. All day long it feels like dusk. This is my time. I can feel them in the sky, under the pavement and the earth, in the Red Cedar, even in the flame of a lighter. This is mine. Last year, I felt like the ordeal I went through was a test. I passed. I felt promoted, like from a soldier to an officer. This is. It was about the same time my good friend gave me an extra wallet chain that he didn’t need. It was interspersed with metallic skulls. I added it to my trench coat. Cord of office, you could say, considering who it was that promoted me. This.

Every year, around this time, I feel like I could make a hole. Make a hole, and tear it wide open. Let the chaos and the surrealism overwhelm those that aren’t built to handle it. Let the jungle of the real begin. How would you react if a hobbit came out of an alley, smoking a cigarette, and flicked you off? How would you feel, looking up, and seeing dragons, scales interspersed with circuitry, mating in a thunderstorm? How would you feel, going to an apartment complex, and seeing two gryphons guarding someone they valued deeply? How would you feel if you heard chanting, and then in a blink of an eye, had to bear the full glory of four archangels driving out all that wasn’t sacred from that space? How would you feel, if god or jesus showed up at night when you prayed? Would you be able to bear it, if this was reality? Would your mind and soul bear the onslaught?

What fun!

If I were to go back to my high-school self, and say, “Dude, you’re going to be hit on, wanted because your brain and body are dead sexy to quite a few women, (good looking women to boot!) and will actually stress about which path to take with which woman,” I think my high school self would call me a moron. That is, after he stopped laughing his fool head off.

I am so glad that I know who I am right now. Back then, I had no idea. I spent most of my college life trying to figure that out. Who I am will shift, and change, but I am sure of myself as an individual and an entity. It’s really something that lets me sit down and laugh at the world like a crazy old man.

A week from today, I think I’m going to ask Them about my goal. I’ve never done that before. My life experience would tell me that it’s not whether or not I end up a grandfather, just take those bits of what I envision of BEING a grandfather, and make them part of me. I think I kind of already have. He already calls me Grandpa Skippy half of the time.

Draconis and Tiamat, guide me.