Editor’s Note

Rewriting the Remembrance, from 5 October.

Grand River and squirrels, she says.

How many people should get caught up in the roots at the edge of the Forest? The whole caravan? Drive a mile and a half just to have a vehicle crunched, and maybe lose/injure one or two people? That seems like a waste, and a blundering move, after all of the lessons learned through wacky hijinks and hardship.

It’s more likely that they’d send a scouting party to make sure the way was clear out of the city while everyone began packing and loading up. Who to send? From a story standpoint, I could send five or so schmoes, but then they’d end up ballooning into full-blown, three-dimensional characters that the reader would want to see again. I already have WAY too many of those. I could send in the three main characters with a couple of redshirts, or I could send in just the three main characters.

Nikki recommends that Tim and Diane go in with a couple of redshirts, because Sebastian  is still feeling ill. She says that this will give her an opportunity to see what Sebastian will become, and then she can wrestle with whether or not to tell her husband.

That could allow Sebastian to “rest” as he directs the reloading and packing of the two caravans. This could be a good setup for Sebastian’s later suggestion of rotating the protective forces. If he’d worked on the earliest stages of integrating the two caravans, he’d have experience from which to draw for giving suggestions.

One redshirt from each caravan, then? Four people, on foot from the ruins of 127 down E. Michigan Ave. to where it joins Grand River. So, where will the forest cross the road? It would have needed room to expand, so it cannot be directly next to a forested part of campus. It’d probably be by Brody (Michigan and Harrison), with the forest having taken the intersection.

When Herod and Sebastian return, the borders will have expanded.

Writing Journal

Rewriting the Remembrance, from 21 September.

Why is it just the trees that explode with growth around the Green when she shifts for the first time? Why not the bushes and the grasses and every other green thing?

The vines sort of grow, but the focus is definitely on the trees. I know that I did that on purpose, but I don’t for the life of me remember why. So, I need to either come up with a new reason, or rewrite the intro.

I think it was because trees were the final stage in the forest growth cycle. Grasses, shrubs, sparse trees, thick forest. I just kipped all the intermediary steps. I did that a lot in this novel. So, I was having the natural process fast-forward through decades of growth, but I did it wrong. There should be tall grasses, shrubs, and all sizes of trees. All the stages of growth in quick succession, without the die-off when the taller plants block out sunlight to those below.

And then there’s the bit Nikki wants me to add on the way out of Lansing, going through the forest…

  • Answer the question about what happened to Lansing’s Locusts.
  • Foreshadow the Squirrel King.
  • Should they run into the Green? It would be an opportunity to introduce her earlier, and give her character a touch more depth. Seeing her in a state that isn’t a victim might be a Good Thing.
  • Yet another way that will can be focused to defeat the Locusts.

I’d be hard pressed to argue against this improving the overall story. AND THEN there’s the re-working of the Homeland’s progression to include in this chapter. And the way that Schuler reacts to the caravan’s arrival. And the conversation between Diane and Schuler where she realizes that he’s changed reality by not letting it change.

I’ve got my work cut out for me.

Editor’s Note

Rewriting the Remembrance, from 9 August.

Editor’s note from Chapter 1, in the asylum: Wouldn’t they hear the battle raging outside? Maybe have Herod keep calm by not reacting. Jason calls him out on it, too.

Writer’s witty retort: God DAMN it.

Is the lack of mention of the sound – any sound – coming in from the outside world enough of a problem to worry about? This is an asylum in downtown Detroit – wouldn’t it be soundproofed? Not just the patient rooms, but the whole place – common room, cafeteria, hallways? Yes, it would have to be, windows and all.

How much would the impacts and aftershocks damage the soundproofing? At least trivially, probably seriously.

I think I can solve this at the very end of the first chapter. Very, very end.