Worldbuilding for the Glass Crown, from 25 January.
How would Nemesis shift from winged man to dragon? He’s been gravely insulted, and is irritated beyond reason. I wouldn’t say he’s enraged. It’s not a fire, but a cold anger. Okay, let’s go step by step.
When Herod causes Nemesis to shift for the first time, it’s described as a pushing out. His senses expand, his body expands, his power expands. But this isn’t being written from his point of view, it’s being written from outside.
He’s surrounded by “mortals,” too. He wouldn’t want to squish Caroline’s friends, no matter how pissy he’s gotten. So, he’d jump up as he shifts, expanding in the space above the group. Everyone will instinctively crouch, because of the eardrum-popping roar that he’ll make as he shifts. Everyone except for the Left Hand.
She’ll begin to shift on the ground, and that needs to be described from the point of view of a terrified Robin, in detail. She’ll launch herself into the air to pursue Nemesis, bellowing her own roar in response to the Harbinger’s challenge. More with the ringing ears, because that’s just what the group needed.
What will the energy of that shifting do for/to Caroline? She is so drained by everything that she’s been through and everything that she’s pulled off that she can only stand upright with difficulty. The surge of Dragon City energy around her is like getting hit with a lightning bolt. Sure, it’ll recharge her batteries, but it’ll happen way too fast, and it’ll keep going. She’ll get overloaded and then pass out.
Nikki thinks that this should be able to be seen visually, like a glowing aura, instead of bringing the cheese with the smoking hair.
Argh, there’s no precedent in this book or the last for energy influencing like this. Why am I worrying about this now? Because I have the Harbinger’s change triggering the Green’s change. There’s something broken in that. Her Guardian essence is locked away inside the Remembrance. She should not be able to shift into dragon form. I had the energy hitting Caroline, because it should hit her if it hit the Green.
Fundamental reassessment:
The Green should not fully shift when Nemesis does. Her body should start, but fail, and she should collapse as a backlash.
Thanks, Nikki.
Caroline should drop to a knee. She and Chuck should help each other into the restaurant, and the Right Hand should carry the Left in, with Robin taking up the rear in case anyone needs help.