TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The American Journal of Psychiatry says that many people suffer from delusions of “imagined ugliness.” The technical name for the condition is “body dysmorphic disorder.” It’s typically characterized by an obsession with a physical flaw, or even with an imagined flaw. Judging from my experience, 99 percent of the population has at least a mild version of this pathology. That’s the bad news, Taurus. The good news is that you’re in a perfect astrological phase to break free from its hold. You’re ready to revolutionize your self-image so thoroughly that you will hereafter see yourself as a perfect specimen of idiosyncratic beauty.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This week Mars is closer to Earth than it has been since cavemen roamed the earth. It also happens to be midway through a five-month sojourn in your astrological House of Networking, which is its longest stay since 1956. Because the red planet invigorates everything it influences, you could very well be a whiz at winning friends and influencing people from now until December. But keep in mind that unless you respond with all your passionate ingenuity to the arousing Martian energy, it may also have a disruptive effect. Here’s your rule of thumb: Go all the way, give everything you have, and don’t hold back.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’m not necessarily suggesting you need a new soul mate. But if you do, this is the perfect astrological moment to go in search of one. Where should you look? I suggest you hang out in unfamiliar territory where you will be fresh and curious — frontier zones where you’re likely to uncover secrets about who you really are. For fastest results, visit the Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet (http://www.thespoon.com/costco/), a clearinghouse for soul mates at the Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert from August 25-31. It offers “quality name-brand and private-label soul mates at substantially lower prices than can be found through conventional wholesale sources.” P.S. If you’re happy with your existing soul mate, infuse your bond with a concentrated dose of smart, loving creativity. It’s a perfect moment to propel yourselves into the next phase of your evolution together.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you’re typical, your memory is not very efficient; by tomorrow at this time you will have forgotten much of what you learned today. But you cannot afford to be typical during the next ten days, Taurus. It’s crucial to the ultimate success of your long-term dreams that you remember far more than you usually do. I don’t care how you do it: Intensify your perceptiveness, try memory-strengthening exercises, take massive doses of ginkgo biloba, or all of the above. Become as aggressively receptive and absorptive as you have ever dared to be.

Take the “How Do You Use Magic?” test! Written by Brimo

Yoinked from and .

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “You may enjoy this movie if you shut down enough brain cells. I turned off all except the ones needed to remember where I parked my car.” This observation comes from a critic’s evaluation of the first Charlie’s Angels film, but I’ve read similar comments in many other reviews. Indeed, it’s an approach that many intelligent people employ routinely in response to *all* the loud, shiny garbage our culture foists on us. What about you, Taurus? Do you assume you have to make yourself dumber in order to have fun? Has the blaring inanity of the world caused you to shut down your smart sensitivity? If so, work hard to reverse this trend in the coming week. You’ll receive help from unexpected sources if you do.