Horoscope

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This will be an excellent time to read five books simultaneously, snack constantly on delicacies while avoiding heavy meals, climb a tree with an adventurous friend and make careful yet wild love right there, refuse to practice any form of meditation that doesn’t involve laughing, buy ten cheap alarm clocks and smash them with a hammer out in the middle of a meadow, pretend to be a feral teenager who’s allergic to civilization, and throw invisible stones at any god, angel, or genie who won’t help you get the love you want.

No longer thinking clearly.

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I haven’t felt attacked until tonight.

“Everyone else knew I wasn’t happy, and I didn’t shield you from it. I haven’t been happy with almost anything in our relationship for a year or more. It’s not news, but every time I tried to talk to you about it, you’d give me the same answers, and we’d go absolutely no where. If we’d listened to mom a year ago, and gotten into couples counseling, we might have saved it. At this point, I don’t even want to save it.”

My memory of an entire year is wrong? Our rebound from the rough patch? I was completely mistaken about that? When she said that things were better? When she acted as if things were better? I remember wrong? Why do I feel so deceived that I want to throw up? Why does this feel like yet another in a long string?

I don’t even remember her mom suggesting couples’ counseling. I am incensed. Enraged. Barely in control of myself.

I took everything that she’s said at face value. I have trusted the words that have come from her mouth. She does not give me the same benefit. She cannot stop herself from thinking that I am judging her or implying things that I am not. She takes offense, and lashes out at me in return.

She is certainly making it easy for me to move to California.

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If I’m me, who are you?

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Is this feeling… boredom? I think that it is. How strange.

Check out http://www.kenabus.net or http://www.rootarded.com if you’ve got some clicks to spare. The first is laid out like a choose your own adventure book. The second is just getting started. Good stuff.

was kind enough to thwap me upside the head and point out that my trepidation about flying out for the in-person interview is just me doing that doubting thing that I do. Suddenly it’s not so intimidating.

Tuesday
From:
Lansing Capital City Airport, MI
9:05 am, Tuesday August 28
To:
Chicago O’Hare Int’l Airport, IL
9:05 am, Tuesday August 28
From:
Chicago O’Hare Int’l Airport, IL
9:50 am, Tuesday August 28
To:
San Jose International Airport, CA
12:25 pm, Tuesday August 28
Thursday
From:
San Jose International Airport, CA
6:20 am, Thursday August 30
To:
Chicago O’Hare Int’l Airport, IL
12:29 pm, Thursday August 30
From:
Chicago O’Hare Int’l Airport, IL
1:10 pm, Thursday August 30
To:
Lansing Capital City Airport, MI
3:13 pm, Thursday August 30

I’ll be packing today and/or tomorrow before work. I’ve got plenty of reading material and podcasts saved. I’ve reviewed the TSA‘s list of no-no’s about carry-on and checked luggage, and I’ve got to clean out my backpack a bit, but it’ll do well. I’m hoping to hang out with while I’m there, if she’s got time. I wonder if other people feel this way when hoping to move across country to a city and state to which they’ve never been.

I also blame for infecting my brain with llamas. Also Daleks.

came by for lunch today, and that was really good. Amidst both the crazy good and bad that are in our lives, it felt like we were most able to be ourselves. It was really, really good for me and my outlook. I hope that I helped him a little, too.

Now I’m caught up on my friends list, my RSS feed, and Benny’s got the book I’m reading in her car. says that the next Adam’s Name bit needs more meat, as they usually do, so I may tackle that.

Times, they are a’changin’.