Yeeesh.

As a writer, I understand that it’s in my best interest to cultivate my social media presence.

As an operations and platform engineer that pays attention to the behavior of social network companies, I sometimes want to throw my hands up in the air and become a digital hermit.

Airplane Conversation

This is a text conversation with a friend of mine:

Me: On plane, 30 minute delay
Paul: Flap harder then
Me: FLAPPING MY F***ING HEART OUT IS IT WORKING
Me: GUY IN SEAT NEXT TO ME IS GETTING PISSED
Me: I MIGHT HAVE BROKEN HIS NOSE MAKE SACRIFICES F***ER IM TRYING TO GET US IN THE AIR
Paul: Lololol

Later, on IRC:

Paul: DAVE
Paul: HOW ARE YOUR ARMS DUDE
Me: SO F***ING TIRED AND COVERED IN THAT GUY’S BLOOD
Me: HE WAS SO PISSY ABOUT IT OMG
Paul: WHAT A JERK
Paul: NOT A TEAM PLAYER
Me: LOL

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What No Eye Has Seen

coverGood day, gentlepeople of all persuasions! I bring to you a novella filled to bursting with craziness, including in no particular order: a magical evil gun, a witch, alcohol, vampires, involuntary dimension hopping, alcohol, a missing elevator, using a bus as a getaway car, notable eye pigment shifts, alcohol, a pool hall, and Adam.

Did I mention booze? There’s some of that in there.

What No Eye Has Seen is available now at most of the major ebook retailers. So go ahead and make with the clicky-clicky, and give your eyeballs and your brainmeats a treat!