I’ve been pushing people. They have complained, and still complain, and the solution is so obvious to me. If those who complain would re-direct that energy to write (*snort*) right the wrong or fill the gap, the wrong would be righted and the gap would be filled. Those around me have more than enough brains, wits, and willpower to pull these things off. The resources exist, and are available with minimal effort.

Then there is my role to play. I am a catalyst by nature. If they didn’t need my influence to push them forward, why are they near me? Why do they orbit me if I am not to influence their orbit? Of course, this ignores what they want. Complete disregard for their autonomous will. It is my frustration-driven attempt to spur along intentionally that causes the issue. The key to this is that I am a catalyst naturally. I don’t have to expend energy or enact my own will for this, it simply is. And, as in other things in my life, adding purposeful intent just borks things all to hell.

Continual lesson in letting go and learning to simply live.

When I left Theio’s two nights ago, I told and and that I had heavy thoughts running through my head, and I needed a walk. The walk helped. Signs and notices – portends from both the spiritual and the secular – plague me, but not because I’m seeking to ignore them. This time, I can take them for the warnings that they are.

Serenity is a phenomenal work of cinema. There is no… the action doesn’t detract from the plot, the plot is important enough to make the characters’ struggles worthwhile, and key background information is learned about the setting’s history. All this, and Mr. Whedon doesn’t shy away from killing off main characters. I am still in shock over Wash’s death. He would kill the one character that everyone related me to. “I am a leaf on the wind.” A leaf on the wind is dying, floating to the earth to decompose.

You could tell, in the theater, which of us hadn’t seen it yet. When he died, nobody expected it. Definitely not an easily-called plot twist. Gasps and startled shouts came from little spots all over.

Guard dogs, indeed.

I am -finally- making progress.

is right, parental units do have good ideas. Perhaps I should remind them that I agree more often. Or maybe I’m doing that now. ;)

I have a bit of a headache that caffeine will soon solve. After I’m done with another install of Windows Server Update Services – remotely – from a Mac – I’m heading out to Theio’s to meet my beautiful . I am so lucky to have a wife that knows how to hug.

Today’s day of verbal silence has been different. The focus has always been to notice things that I would have normally talked right over. It has moved from noticing the external to the internal. Some thoughts just whirl in your head until you say them out loud.

I was going to list the ways I’ve failed in accomplishing my goals over the last week, and into today. ‘s voice rang in my head and so I’ve decided not to.

Suffice it to say that I did not catch up over last week. But, I have a new plan. Complete everything that’s due today first. Then, complete everything that’s due tomorrow. Once that is finished, THEN work on things that were already due.

I am hoping that with my usual industriousness, I can accomplish this in a few days.