TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I predict that you will soon hook up with the “wrong” helpers. They will nudge you down an unexpected path that results in you getting tests you didn’t even know you needed. I also suspect that without much assistance from anyone, you will make one of your best “mistakes” of 2005. Congratulations in advance, Taurus, for being receptive to the blessings in disguise.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Johor Baru prison in Malaysia has begun offering thrill-seekers the opportunity to stay overnight. For a mere $17, a curious traveler can experience the adventure of getting locked in a dank cell, eating bad food, and having no pillow while sleeping on a wormy mattress. I sincerely hope that none of you will travel to this new tourist attraction in the coming week. For that matter, I trust you won’t check into a metaphorical version of the place, either. There is absolutely no reason for you to visit other people’s hells or mistake ordeals for adventures.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I don’t recommend that you aim for perfection–not now or ever. I’m equally skeptical of you seeking enlightenment, as it’s defined by Eastern religions. Perfection and enlightenment are downright impossible in a world where change is the only constant. What constitutes perfection or enlightenment today won’t be valid tomorrow, when the truth has evolved and God has showered us with an influx of previously unimaginable new circumstances. No, Taurus, what I suggest is that you cultivate love with all your ingenuity–both the capacity to give it and receive it. There’s no other undertaking that does more to build up your power and intelligence. And this week is an ideal time to be living proof of that fact.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I’ve watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn’t hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this ten times. I recommend a similar approach to you, Taurus. According to my astrological analysis, you won’t be able to enjoy your treats in the place where you find them. You’ll have to pluck them, fly away, and savor them at a distance. Like the sparrow, you should keep returning for refills.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You have the potential to be a great wizard in the coming week. Here’s how to fulfill that promise: (1) Renounce grandiose fantasies of transforming lead into gold or frogs into soul mates. (2) Think small, be specific, get extremely pragmatic, and don’t make up stories based on inconclusive evidence. (3) Take everything that’s dreamy and hard-to-pin-down and bring it down to earth. (4) Don’t bitch about the limitations; *love* them and use them to your advantage. (5) Treat idealism as a distraction unless it can be translated into concrete acts that do some good for actual human beings.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Surveys show that many parents in England cut away the crusts before serving bread to their children. Responding to this need, a baking company has begun marketing bread without crusts. I mention this, Taurus, because pre-made crustless bread is a good metaphor for the experiences you’ll soon be offered in abundance: soft, spongy sweetness that you can freely access without having to break through any hard outer layers. I won’t be surprised if you get tired of it after a while, though, and start seeking out adventures with more crunch. But in the short run you might find it very relaxing.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Born under the sign of the Bull, my friend Sarah is a stupendously creative person. The flow of fertile intuition never seems to stop. She attributes this blessing, which is also a bit of a curse, to her relationship with an imaginary friend she calls Eliza. “Eliza is mostly my mysterious and helpful muse, but sometimes she fills me up with too much good stuff,” she says. “She can give me so many insights, ideas, and inspirations that I feel like I’m going to explode.” In the coming week, Taurus, I suspect your experience will resemble Sarah’s. Would you like to know the best way to ensure the abundance doesn’t turn into excess? Make room in your life for a flood of invigorating changes.