TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Do one thing that scares you every day,” counsels novelist Kurt Vonnegut. That’s easy for a risk-loving Scorpio like him to say, but is it good advice for you Tauruses, who typically thrive on peace and safety? At most other times, I would say no; I’d suggest you force yourself to face your fears no more than once a month. But the coming weeks are shaping up as a departure from your usual rhythms. You can do a lot to ensure your long-term peace and safety through regular encounters with unpredictable experiences that will scare up your hidden reserves of courage.

You are an Akira-class Battlecruiser, every ship
should be like this. You are very versatile
and can be trusted to perform any task with
excellence. Powerful, agile, and graceful.
You, my friend have it going on.

Which Class of Federation Starship are you?
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Yoinked from .

You are

Giles

"You should never be cowed by authority. Except, of course, in this instance, where I am clearly right and you are clearly wrong."

What "Buffy" Character Are You?

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Consumer brands are the new religion,” reports “The Financial Times.” “People turn to them for meaning.” The evidence? Instead of attending church on Sunday, many of the faithful swarm to Ikea. Countless couples exchange their marital vows at Disneyland. Bikers are buried in coffins bearing Harley-Davidson logos. Don’t tell me you haven’t been infected with this faux religion, Taurus; we all have. But I’m happy to announce that it’s a perfect astrological moment for blasphemy and dissent. Renounce your worshipful attachment to brand names and products that are sapping your spiritual juice! Break the hold of your addiction NOW! Just say NO to false gods!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Change your relationship with mirrors, Taurus. If you tend to be obsessed with what they tell you, lose your addiction and escape their tyranny. If you usually avoid them out of fear, summon your courage and approach them with your warrior’s heart fully engaged. And in the event you’re typically rather apathetic towards them, develop a more intimate connection. It’s time to shift the dynamic between you and your reflection.

Apparently I’m immobile.

You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated, hard-
willed and not too friendly about it. You keep
people out of places, or you keep them in, and
without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you’ll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma’am.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If I were writing this horoscope for “Gun Lovers’ Casino Porn Today” magazine, I might advise my Taurus readers to keep their vices firmly in check, as this is a time when anti-social vices are likely to cause even more havoc than usual. However, since you are reading my words in a respectable publication and are undoubtedly a refined and ethical person, I feel comfortable advising you to tap into the instinctual part of your nature that is usually off-limits. Halloween costume suggestion: the animal whose spirit would best awaken your dormant wildness.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus William Henry Seward was the U.S. Secretary of State in the 1860s. Though his career included many notable achievements, he is best known for buying Alaska from Russia. His contemporaries thought this was a batty idea — Alaska was regarded as a frozen wasteland — and referred to it as “Seward’s Folly.” Ultimately, his determination to follow his dream in the face of ridicule proved to be an act of brave genius. For 2.5 cents an acre, he added a rich land that now composes one-fifth of the entire United States. I predict that you, Taurus, will soon have a chance to pull off your own version of Seward’s Folly.