Grandpa Crampton is in the hospital again. said that he was yelling at Grandma about a boyfriend she had had over fifty years ago, and then overdosed on some pills. said that he “kind of went back in time”, and then overdosed. They think it was his Xanax, but they can’t be sure.

Shortly after Dad () arrived on the scene to help, Grandpa lost consciousness. They called an ambulance, and he went back to the hospital. That was yesterday, late afternoon. As of 10:00 this morning, he still hasn’t woken up. Dad is up there, and he says he and his sisters are taking care of each other and of Grandma.

He says that I don’t have to come up, but I’m more than welcome. Either tonight or tomorrow, I’m going up to Birch Run. Come hell or high water.

Out of all of the other times, I’m freaking out over this one. I’m freaking out because Grandpa’s coming unhinged, and because I see that dormant possibility in my father and in myself. Joe () comes across as more stable, but maybe he’s just better than me at pretending.

I’m freaking out because I’m thinking about losing Grandpa. I’m thinking about the time he took his gun out to his carpentry shed. I’m thinking about the time when his other meds messed with his anti-depressants, and he was verbally violent (NOT the Grandpa I’ve ever known or seen). I’m freaking out because I’m thinking about losing Grandpa.

I’m freaking out because I feel a primal fear that is not wholly internal and not wholly external. I’m freaking out because I don’t know if I’m going to be able to keep it together when I bring Grandpa a copy of my article, and he’s just going to be there sleeping, and I won’t be able to wake him up. Or worse, he’ll let loose this hidden and foreign rage on me, and I won’t be able to withstand it.

The depths of this terrifies me.

So, I’m back at that sweet laundromat. The bathroom is open to customers (one of my only complaints was a lack of available bathroom), and the coffee is FREE. :)

Now, if I can just concentrate on my ridiculous ISP homework.

Oh, and Fear Factor is the most retarded show I have ever seen. The stupidity never ceases.

Let’s see, the first night involved many Jager bombs and a failed attempt at Trivial Pursuit. Oh, and a few drunk dials to .

The first full day involved a few errands, wedding invitation help – I’ve been told I’m a fantastic bridesmaid – letter-writing, cooking breakfast, playing with the Marley-kid, and eating homemade lasagna. Also, I heard that our new dog is at home safe and sound, even after a bout of carsickness.

Today has been a lazy day, with much playing with the Marley-kid. He’s napping right now. I’ve made some good headway on my re-read of The Gnostic Gospels by Elane Pagels.

I’ve been forbidden to teach the kid “hooker” or “stabby-stabby”. Oh, and I had a long dream about Voyager/CoreComm, Comcast, my old Delta ’88, police, time travel, , , apartments, and dorm rooms last night. Whoo.

Also, my phone doesn’t seem to be roaming this time around.

Okay, I think that’s all the post this dialup connection can handle. :)

The shelving unit was a success, and I didn’t even get stressed. Definitely a day to go down in history. The books are up, but I could only fit my G1/G2 Transformers on the top two shelves of the unit. So, I might just pepper the rest of the house with the newer ones. Definitely something I should ask about. We misses our Benny.

is crashed downstairs. I thought I woke up late. Heh. Let me tell you, I had no idea how differently different artists worked. Woah. We decided to continue working on Thursday afternoon. Also, the comic website has finally been updated with random sample pics. I realized, going through the comic emails last night, that I never replied to about future web design details. I = retard.

I need to get out of this communication blackout funk and return phone calls, emails, and get back into the world of the living. Why is it harder than it sounds?

Hopefully I’ll be able to keep my frustration level low while rebuilding the metal shelves from the apartment. Once they’re built, I’ll be able to unpack my gaming books and my transformers. I’m going to try to keep the books on the bottom shelves and the toys on the top shelves, as our new dog (heh) is a big one.

Later tonight, and I will tackle Issue 2 of the comic.