It’s early enough in the morning that I can actually feel it. That feeling of new and fresh and possibility that seeps into you while the hot water cascades around you. I come out of the shower, and the steam-heated bathroom, and remember Sundays with newspapers, doughnuts, “coffee secret”, and Dad. No matter what the weather is like outside, there’s a feel to the morning.

Getting into the habit of saying “no” was a difficult one for me. Fighting back the tide of people that were only out to use or step on me was a difficult task, as I had refused to believe that people would do such a thing. I still have that instinct, to trust people initially. To this day, I must steel myself before I go into a situation where I must stand up for what is best for me. I feel that this morning. In twenty minutes, I’ll be informing my superiors that I cannot afford to spend time working without a base pay of some sort. Heft the WarHammer, bring it down in a swing, use the left-over momentum to come around again from the other side. Swing, crunch, swing, crunch.

I shockingly recognized a demon of mine yesterday. It’s said to be a green beast, and it hides in the most tiny of nooks and crannies, refusing to be exterminated. It’s something that must be lived with and ignored. Its pestering and annoying gibbering can only serve to feed paranoia.

Onward through the day.