This weekend was jam-packed with ups and downs and happy and frustrated and all sorts of stuff.

So, I’m going to post small bits as they come into my head.

wants to meet with me, and talk. The goal, so far as I can understand, is so that we can stand to be around each other, but not to regain our friendship. This, for me, means letting some of the past go. I have to determine if I can do that (as I’m notoriously bad for it), if I want to do that, and what needs to happen for me to let go.

I cannot see a place between hurt-and-bitter and friends while the cause for the hurt-and-bitter remains without closure. Apparently I’m bad at cauterizing wounds when I cut off limbs.

My initial reaction was to think of ulterior motives, reasons, goals, etc. It was a response based on distrust. If her motives are honest – and that word came up a lot while and I were talking about this – then I think I can let go of the past. She’s not seeking my trust. She’s not seeking my friendship. I guess she’s seeking the lack of my animosity.

I don’t pretend that any of this will be easy, on either side. I’m a stubborn, bull-headed jerk when it comes to things like this. There is enough of a possibility of positive outcome to try it. Always enough hope to try.