My fists are finally unclenched.  My teeth are finally not grinding.  I have forced my muscles to relax.  Whooo.

My stress-induced rage peak seems to be over, and that is good.  I keep reminding myself that there is nothing to stress over, and that things are under control.  Not my control, but under control nonetheless.

I’m fairly sure that I yelled at a customer when he mis-heard me.  “Not middle number, model number!”  I think I lost it a little bit.  I forced myself to relax after that.  Slowly but surely, I calmed down.

So.  Mark has an LJ, he’s .

I have to wonder if and I have let this wedding get out of our hands and become something other than a celebration of our union.  It’s not something I logically worry about, but it’s a nagging feeling.  I know that everyone just wants to make our wedding the best that it can possibly be, but it seems that few stop to ask us what it is that we want.  What it is that will make it the best for us.

I am not ungrateful.  I am amazed at everything.  I mean, everything.  *SIGH*  It’s just…. ours, damnit.