I find myself feeling like my iBook is my connection to reality, and that’s dangerous. I’m using iCal in my continuing quest to try and actually do what I say I’m going to do. I’m using it as a supplement to my memory.

I’m using it to stay in touch with people, because I’m a hermit, and have no time, when I do really have time, I just choose to use it to try and write, and end up reading Wired or The Cryptonomicon or obsessively refreshing my friends’ page, which I use to stay in touch with people, because I’m a hermit, and have no time…. *sigh*

eBay must be an addiction, even if I’m a low volume seller and buyer. I’m doing good things, right? I mean, by selling the things that collect dust, and the things that we don’t need, and buy things that are useful to us, like full spectrum desk lamps for work and upgrades to the iBook so it runs faster and does things better and can help me manage my life more efficiently.

Right? Good things?

It helps with holiday shopping and it helps with getting me good music and it helps with letting me vent and get my emotions out in a forum in which my friends and family can keep up with me because I’m a hermit, and have no time, and…

Since I’ve been feeling better, I’ve made some decisions. Once again, I’m trying to influence the things that I can, and let the things that I can’t do what they’re going to do. I’m reviewing the person that I want to be, and the person that I am, and what changes must be made to bring that about. I have a deadline for The Glass Crown, and a projected release date, and I’m pretty scared about it. Not about not hitting it, not about hitting it, just freaked out about it in a general sense.

The last two nights at Meijer’s, I’ve been having Adam moments. I guess only a few of you know what that means, because it’s still mostly stuck in my head and not on paper.

It’s bar rush here at Theio’s. People are loud. I’ve got my iBook’s volume on max to my headphones. iTunes is also maxed. People are loud and drunk.

I’m trying out this whole tucking my shirt in business. says that if I’m going to rock the belt buckle that gave me, I should definitely tuck in my shirt. No stealth belt buckle. But, really, it’s because says she likes the way I look when my shirt is tucked in.

I’m having a hard time pushing the laptop away. I’m having a hard time pulling out the purple notebook and writing straight-up fantasy. Maybe I need to let all of these Adam thoughts out of my head, because there really are quite a lot of them.