I want my own place.
I want to hang out with my dog.
I want to write.
I want to set up my SETI Retirement Home.
I want to be comfortable enough in my place, my home, to be able to write.

I want a job that I can leave at work when I go home.
I want a job that will pay the bills.
I want a job that will give me enough free time to write and publicize my writing.

I want to finish what I started – namely, school.
I want to put down roots.
I want to participate in local government; I want to be an active citizen.
I want to -be- somewhere.

I want an apartment; I don’t want the extra part-time job (full?) that comes with home ownership.
I want to live on or near a bus line, but I also want a small, fuel-efficient car so that I can visit family and friends.
I want to feel at home.
I want to relax, I want to unwind, and I want to feel part of the place in which I live.

None of these things are location-dependent. All of these things that I know that I want can be done anywhere. And yet I left California because I knew that it was not where I wanted to be. I wanted to be in Michigan. Am I blocking myself again, like I did with the question “What do I want?” when I was out there? Is there another layer of self-programming to strip away? Am I stalling, to stay in a place that is totally safe?

*sigh*

If I go back to Lansing, will I be able to stay out of drama enough to heal? Is my will strong enough? Will my actions follow my ideals?