I’m sick of disappointing my friends. I need to go down the list of the ones that are more recent, and are bothering me the most.

I’ve canceled nearly every trip to the Detroit area to see her, for one reason or another. I’ve missed anime nights, I’ve missed homemade mead, I’ve missed club nights, and I’ve missed nights that she would have ended up in the hospital no matter what I did. None of that matters, really. What matters is that I missed spending time with her.

I missed his wedding, because I originally had the day off, and then after a rescheduling, I had to work. He was counting on me, he had a seat set aside for me, and I wasn’t able to fulfill my promise of being there. I missed what was probably the happiest day of his life, and now he won’t answer my IM’s. I understand why, and I don’t blame him.

I’ve earned a reputation for promising to be at IPM, and then not showing. This last time, I was supposed to DJ. It doesn’t matter if my reason was real or not, I failed to show again. I promised to be there, to spend time there, and then didn’t.

Wedding. Two different receptions, and I’m not going to be able to go to either. I dropped the ball again, and I’m going to miss/have missed an extremely important day in his life.

Are you seeing a pattern? I am.