How does one reprogram a newborn’s internal clock? I’m pretty sure NTP (network time protocol) is broken. Awake at night and sleeping during the day.

Wait. That sounds like me.

He eats too fast, and gives himself gas all the time. Totally makes him cranky and his stomach upset.

Wait. That sounds like me.

Half the time, he seems like he has no idea what he wants to make him happy.

Wait. That sounds like…

These mini-me comments are getting way too accurate. ;)