At 4:00 AM I woke up, completely rested and refreshed. I remember mumbling to myself, “That’s pretty fucked up,” and rolling back over and going back to sleep.

At 4:45 AM I woke up with my right calf in an extreme charlie horse. I was able to walk it off and go back to sleep at 4:50.

At 5:15 AM I woke up to my phone alarm and realized that it was Saturday. This meant that I could sleep in until 5:30, as Dad didn’t need the shower.

At 5:30 AM I woke up, finally for good, and wondered why I didn’t stay up at 4. The shower actually stayed warm for a good 20 minutes, and I enjoyed every second of it. The drive was wonderfully clear of traffic and rainy.

I have hot cocoa, and you’re jealous. Nyah!

Brand new iBooks with G4 processors.
iTunes for the PC.
OS X Panther.

I have to wonder if G5 Powerbooks are on their way. That would probably be revealed at the MacWorld expo.

Two letters to send out today, I’ll probably be finishing up Urban Primitive on my shift today. Touring of Lake in the Woods went well, but there’s just an atmosphere there… I don’t know. I can’t decide if I want to apply there or not. The special is rockin’. The apartments are huge. I mean, if can turn his apartment in that crappy building into the wonder of schweet that it is, there’s no reason that I can’t.

I’ll decide after I get a chance to talk to Schooner Cove and Ford Lake Landing today on my lunch break.

I really miss . Bunches and bunches.

I was falling asleep and feeling drained again before lunch. So I eat in, which is not my preference, but the smarter thing to do.

Well, the Uncle Ben’s rice bowl filled me up. I just had to wait a little while.

Said waiting was accomplished by working on my novel on my lunch break. Not only did this give the food time to settle and signal to me that I was full, but woke me up and broke me away from the banality of the day. It was like reading a good book, but more intensive.

Not to mention a call from . That’s always a day-brightener.

Maybe I should make this a regular thing, like the working out three days a week.

So now I’m up, enjoying my day, and not sleepy. OH! And should go to IPM. Or maybe start DJ’ing at Luna. Seriously. I’m having Stuff and Things withdrawl.

I felt completely drained, empty, and exhausted this morning. Like I’d gotten no sleep at all last night, even though I’d skipped going to the club. I had a sinus headache, which I can only attribute to switching residences between an extremely dry house (TWP) and a smoker’s house (Lansing).

Sinus meds have since kicked in, and I’m feeling much better. Better outlook on things overall.

I have an appointment to tour a one-bedroom at Lake in the Woods today. They have a pretty sweet deal, but are notorious… Lake in the Hood is the common nickname. I’ll be calling Schooner Cove to see if there’s anything I can work out with a larger down-payment of rent, and I’m hoping that SpiceTree (SilverTree) will call me back.

I can feel the shadowy tendrils of depression creeping around the edges of my mind. I’m fighting them, as I’ve got an unimaginable amount of good in my life to fight for.

Keep moving, Atreyu. Keep moving.

After work I am going to:

.work out
.begin commute
.call:
..
..Schooner Cove
..Ford Lake Landing
..Lake in the Woods
..SpiceTree (SilverTree)
.finish my commute
.eat dinner
.clip fingernails
.search ann arbor news
.sleep

I have a feeling that getting out the nostalgia and emotion involved with Lansing helped. I have a feeling that priorities are, indeed, shifting. I have a feeling that this trend will intensify in the near future. I have a feeling that I’m going to go pleasantly insane.

As you can see above, no club for me.

If the chance presents itself, I will write. If it doesn’t, I won’t. I’m not going to stress about it.

This weekday-weekend (as my dad puts it), I missed Lansing more than I have ever missed it before. The crisp wind, the leaves almost all turned color, the places and the people… I felt at home in Lansing for the last two days, and I haven’t felt that since I moved out in the end of July.

It’s seperate from a missing of . It’s a powerful call, but one I can’t heed right away. I need to be close to my work, at least for now. I need to not spend three hours of every day on the road fighting traffic. I need to spend those three hours with friends and working on my novel. I need to spend those three hours doing something other than making the roads my home.

That’s what I’ve been doing. And the gods aren’t happy about it. I’ve always felt that I need a place to hang my hat, a place that’s mine, a place to put roots in, at least for a year or two. For some reason, leaving the TWP, cutting the road time down, is honestly scaring me. It’s a fear that’s hard to admit, because I crave my independence. I despise relying on people. It just tweaks me. And now… this.

Motivation must come from within. I just don’t understand why the burning need to be in my own place feels like it’s… absent.