Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “When you die,” says the Koran, “God will call upon you to account for all the permitted pleasures you did not enjoy while on earth.” There’s a similar idea in the Talmud: “A person will be called upon to account, on Judgment Day, for all the permitted pleasures he might have enjoyed but did not.” This thought should serve as a central theme for you in the coming weeks, Taurus. Don’t worry, you won’t die for many years. But to activate your highest spiritual potentials in the near future, you must plumb the depths of bliss, joy, amusement, and fun.

Call for assistance

I realize that this is super-short notice. If anyone has a couple of hours free between 1 and 3 PM today, and doesn’t mind hauling some furniture, and I are going to be moving a lot of my stuff from the house on Fairview to the apartment. Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)

Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Hunters recently killed a 50-ton whale off the coast of Alaska. While cutting it apart back on shore, they found a metal projectile lodged in its blubber from an older attack. Later research revealed it had been manufactured around 1890. That means the whale was at least 115 years old, and had been carrying around the projectile for over a century. I bring this to your attention, Taurus, in the hope that it will inspire you to meditate on your own ancient wound. When you pass on to the next world many years from now, I’d hate for you to still be infected with the hurt that befell you in your youth. It’s an ideal time to take aggressive corrective action. Heal it!

Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): During the lead up to Pennsylvania’s election of a U.S. Senator in 2006, the leftist Green Party in Pennsylvania tried hard to get its candidate on the ballot. Facing almost insurmountable odds to raise the necessary funds, it turned to an unlikely source: conservative Republicans, who gladly and fiendishly contributed money in the hope that the Green Party’s nominee would siphon votes away from their far more viable competitor, the Democratic candidate. I expect you may be able to pull off a similar coup in the coming weeks, Taurus: getting an adversary or opponent to aid and abet your cause.

Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Moths, hummingbirds, and bats love to drink the nectar that flowers offer. In return, these pollinators are expected to get some pollen stuck on their bodies and carry it away to fertilize other plants. While the nectar is tasty, it’s usually not pure sweetness. If it were, the first pollinator to come along would suck it all dry, leaving nothing for further visitors. And that wouldn’t be good from the plant’s point of view, because it would limit the number of places where its pollen would be disseminated. To keep nectar-drinking sessions short, therefore, most plants include just a touch of bitterness in the blend. Regard this entire scenario as a useful metaphor for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks, Taurus.

Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): “Empathy is the most radical of human emotions,” says activist Gloria Steinem. What does she mean by “radical”? I think the word implies audacity, fierceness, and extreme courage. It connotes a revolt against the status quo, a transcendence of what’s normal and habitual. And that’s exactly the spirit I hope you bring to your expression of empathy in the near future, Taurus. To enjoy life to the fullest, you should marshal an extravagant ability to feel what others are feeling. Halloween costume suggestions: Be a mirror, a psychotherapist, a giant ear, or a sponge.