Personally defining one’s history, family, religious bend, nationalism, and place within the world. These thoughts come to me while watching Contact, of all things.

As a ninth-generation American with a generally WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant) background, I’ve grown up with the niche in our society as a consumer. Maybe I should clarify. My mother is a non-denominational Christian that doesn’t go to church, but has a strong and subtle faith that can only be described as permeating. My father is a third-generation agnostic that seems to only be recently discovering (or re-discovering) a desire for spirituality in homage to nature and an investigation of Native American traditions from different tribes. Mind you, this is quite recent.

Also, I grew up in what can only be called a consumer-based setting. Pure suburbia. My parents wanted (and want) me to be happy. This was translated into comfortable, and not entirely incorrectly. I was (and am) a smart person, and gloried in this to a fault during Junior and High Schools. So, it was a logical and foregone conclusion that I would go to college and excel. Again, this is entirely from the worldview, background, and moral system of an American consumer. From there, I would get a good job, be comfortable, and lead a happy life.

Didn’t happen that way, and I’m glad.

If you’ve read this far, I want to let you know what my plan is. I’m going to write about the importance of personal definition with examples of my own life.

First off, personal history. I don’t think that any of us is content to limit our own histories to the physical amount of time that we’ve existed. We take the histories of every other aspect of our lives and take them as our own. Even though I had no part of it, my ancestors oppressed, killed, and moved the entire Native American culture in our territory. And sometimes, I feel guilty. Other times, I feel indignant that this kind of history can effect me. Sometimes, I feel jealous of the cultural histories that others have available to define them.

So where am I going to find a timeline, a history, a culture, that’s bigger than me? Where can I find this without stealing from another culture?

I could look to my family. I am immensely proud of my immediate family. Hell, even my extended family makes me proud most of the time. But take it back further, to people I don’t know… most seem to have been good people, but entirely non-descript. The only story we have is of the first Crampton in the States, who was put in the stocks for lying, cheating, and swearing. So, I’ve found a history, but it only really goes back two generations. Nevertheless, I’ve taken this history and made it part of myself. Anyone that knows me well knows how much pride I’ve placed in this little bit of history.

I could look to religion. In fact, I have. The traceable history of Wicca (I should say the verifiable history) only extends into the 1940’s. This was when the anti-witchcraft laws in Great Britain were repealed, and Wiccans and Witches had the choice of becoming public. There are plenty of histories that circulate among different Traditions and among Solitaries, but there are as many that are wild and fantastic as there are that are possibly factual. As my religion closely reflects my genetic heritage (English, German, Scottish, and Irish), I feel validated and without guilt in taking this history as my own.

I could look to my nation. There is a problem with this, though, as mentioned earlier. I know our history fairly well, and I know a bit of our history from other peoples’ point of view. I’m not proud of what our nation has done on a large scale, and I’m not proud of a lot of things our nation is doing right now. When it comes down to it, I think that the last people who should be in politics are politicians. There has to be a lot more blatant and bald-faced honesty in this place before I’m going to be able to respect it. But I’m not sitting on my ass in respect to the problems I have with my government. I’ve even considered getting into politics, though not becoming a politician. But that’s neither here nor there. Our nation’s history is something I make a part of myself without glorification and without love. I do make it a part of my personal history with hope.

So, where do I fit in the world, then? Where have my efforts of personal definition left me? Why in the world should I have gone to this effort? A strong sense of self can be achieved when defining yourself during the time in which you have actually existed, but that sense tends to fade without linking the self to a history or set of histories that are larger than the individual. Being part of something larger provides stability and strength that can cushion and support the sense of self when it becomes hazy or unsure.