Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When my Taurus daughter Zoe was seven years old, I detected signs that her natural inclination to be kind and gentle was beginning to slip into passive docility. I wondered whether I could or should do anything to nurture what astrologers call the Mars energy–the forceful, willful aspect of her psyche. As an experiment, I had her throw baseballs as hard as she could against the side of the house. I bought her a punching bag and encouraged her to smash it. Seven years later, she’s as kind and gentle as ever, but also has an indomitable strength and forceful grace. Her Mars force is fully awake. Did my experiments have anything to do with it? Just in case they did, try something similar, Taurus. In the most constructive way possible, feed your aggressiveness.

[Essay] New Moon

This was an unassigned essay. I wrote it to set some events in order about Yule and a new oath.

Today, the moon is dark. According to my science-for-non-science-majors class, this is because the moon now rests between the Earth and the sun. According to my religious views, this is because the Goddess is dark, and this is the time for unraveling and un-making. I see no discrepancy in these views.

There was a time, recently, in which I was neglecting the gods. You could say that I wasn’t holding up to my part of our little bargain. You could say that life in a cubicle had over-inflated the secular, causing the sacred to fade away. You could say that my gods were pretty damn pissed off. You’d be right in all of this.

I knew that change was coming. I had signed up for classes in September, and immediately applied for financial aid. I had bought a house, and would close on it in two days. My last day at work was set. I had enacted change, and for the first time in a long time, it was working out beautifully. But, as Guns ‘N Roses said, every rose has its thorn.

December 21, 2004: After ending my shift at 9 PM, I headed to a friends’ place to pick up my wife. She had completed a ritual celebrating Yule, and the re-birth of the god. It was about 9:40 when I parked and turned off the car. Thoughts about my own spirituality flooded my mind and held my attention. I began to walk across the parking lot, setting my mind to the task of righting the wrong of my indifference. A few steps later, I had it.

Every month, for a year, I would make a pledge. I would be silent, undoing the force of naming and storytelling that I am gifted with. The New Moon was the perfect time to celebrate this un-making. It would honor Tiamat, she who craves the silence of the universe. I would be forgiven. I made this oath, giving it voice in my head.

I didn’t see the patch of ice. I began to slip, instantly afraid of my bad knees. I flailed at the carport pole to my left and the truck on my right. Neither gave me purchase, and my ankle violently twisted. I felt something crack, or snap, or pop. I fell forward, landing on my forearms, elbows, and knees. My ankle was a fireball of pain. I silently thanked the gods that both of my kneecaps were exactly where they were supposed to be.

I used the carport pole to pull myself up. My ankle supported my weight, if barely, so I figured it wasn’t broken. I assessed the rest of the damage as I limped to the apartment building’s door. Slacks scuffed at the knees. Trench coat scuffed at the elbows. Left palm cut open, with a side of gravel, and plenty of blood. I smirked, then. My oath to Tiamat had been sealed with pain and blood.

Stolen from :

Some day, all of us “freaks” that exist outside your little muggle world will outnumber your kind. Then we shall define what is normal, and you shall become one of the freaks. What ever shall you do when your safe protective box, that you refuse to think outside of, becomes your prison.

[Essay] Fast Food Experience

This was an assignment to get us ready for watching Super Size Me.

No fast food chain is regarded as more unhealthy, more stomach-churning, or more cheap than Taco Bell. With nicknames like Toxic Hell, it’s commonly thought of as having the lowest-grade ingredients and dirtiest environment.

And yet, business keeps flowing in. I arrived at 11:50 AM and 15 minutes later, there is still a full line of customers in the corral. They’ve already had to open their second register to deal with the lunch rush, and the “Now Hiring” sign seems to have been up for quite some time.

I watched the line of people and the seated customers while I munched on my hard-shell taco and chicken quesadilla. I thought about packaging and behavior while I sipped on my lemonade (just as much sugar as any of the Pepsi products they carry). I tried to figure out why, despite all that these people know about the food they’re purchasing, do they return to the lines and the drive thru queues of these horrible places?

Their convenience is unparalleled. Even at a slow pace, no sit-down restaurant can deliver food as quickly as a fast food joint. Meals are pre-arranged and numbered, so you don’t have to spend time worrying if you’re getting a “full meal.” The giant pops that come with the meals have cups that are designed to fit in your car’s cup holder, which is in turn designed for a smaller cup. ATM and credit cards are now accepted, with no minimum purchase. Even the location is optimized for your convenience.

We no longer wish to enjoy our food, relish its taste, appreciate the roundness of a good meal, or think about it at all. We want to eat and get back to the “real” living.

Sneaky.

I really shouldn’t be posting, but I’m doing it anyway. Under the wire again. Last minute again. I shouldn’t do this well under pressure. All attempts at avoiding procrastination were met with… procrastination.

But, forward. Plow through the morass of non-specific and vague essay questions on a take-home final.

Forward, I say!

Download update for David.Crampton? (Y/N) _

So, I’ve just finished nearly two hours of server administration for Smart Networks. One hour was dedicated to sorting email from Outlook remote access. The other hour was mostly waiting for connections and for IE6 to play nice with my 10 year old laptop. All I can say is… soon. :)

To paraphrase Sean Kennedy in Tales from the AfterNow, if my belongings own me, instead of owning them, they should be sold and given away.

On a completely unrelated note, we have an extra TV. It’s a big-ass Sony trinitron, one of the originals I think, and it’s got a wooden box. It’s heavy as shit, and only has the screw-in cable connector. It has served me faithfully, but has been abused. I’m looking to get a little bit of cash for it, but am willing to accept any reasonable offer. So, if you’re interested, drop me a line and we can get it outta the house. :)

Gonna head home soon, as I’ve been out of the house for a while, and Buddy’s probably lonely. There’s a lot of bubbling thought, as there usually is when I listen to AfterNow, and it’s happy happy good time. Or something.

I need some updated userpics. Time to develop some photos.

[White Wolf] Phil’s Character History

Time to switch it up a little. This is the character history for Phillip Schuler, as he began his life in the current Mage game…

As Phil stared at the row of fraternity houses, he became quite sure that wherever he was, it was not home.

In his memory, this row of houses had been home to any number of people of mystical persuasions.  They had possessed a source of power, a node, and had been the only ones in the state, aside from the Technocracy, to officially have such a thing.  Now, these houses were dead to him.  Oh, they still housed fraternity members, but there was no longer any mystical or magical facet to them.

There was another thing.  The newspaper and his cell phone agreed that it was nearing the end of February in the year 2000.  Phil was certain that this was wrong.  It should be at least 2002.  God damn, if only his memory were less hazy.

He had been in Lansing.  He had stayed away from his fellow magic-workers for as long as was possible.  Something had drawn him back in, and it had caused him great pain.  Phil eyed the clothing stores in disdain as he walked past.  There had been a friend, and he had died.  That’s right!  Phil had met the others at a wake.

But his friend had become corrupted.  Nephandus.  His soul had been turned inside-out, and even dead had sought corruption and descent.  He had fought the spirit of his old friend side by side with these orphaned and teacher-less mages.  And they had won.

Phil stopped for a moment in front of a chain costume and party store.  He frowned at a sudden memory of the smell of cotton candy.  His friend had not been the only one.  Other Nephandi had crept their way into Lansing, slowly creating a powerful Labyrinth.  One had smelled strongly of cotton candy.  It had worn a white suit.  Others had fought by his side.  Celican bin Thoth, of the Order of Hermes.  V of the Euthanatos.  Rebecca, an orphaned mage.  He remembered these clearly.

He remembered the baby.  The child who was the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.  They had protected the child, hoping for salvation.  No one had been saved.  Phil scowled and moved on.

Rebecca’s mentor had protected the child, and then she had.  That had left Phil and V to manage the unorganized and opinioned Tradition mages and just as many of the orphaned.  They had done pretty well, considering.

Considering what, you ask?  Considering the Nephandi opening a portal to some twisted spiritual world between here and where their masters churned in darkness.  Considering the surge in Technocracy presence in response.  Considering the regular death and dismemberment of those he was just beginning to call friends.  Considering the lupines and the fluctuations of the spirit world and its infinite layers.  Considering.

They had run a couple of successful raids on the Nephandi, with the Technocracy as allies.  Their devices for harming spirits had looked strange, to say the least.  Things got even more hazy here.  Phil sighed and slumped into a bench.  He watched the Ann Arbor traffic go past, and remembered his Harley.  Poor bastard.  Maybe it was time to let go of that.  Something across the street caught his attention.

He stood up, paused for a moment, and rushed to the street corner, trench coat flapping behind him.  After waiting impatiently for the light to change, he rushed across the street.  He forced himself to slow down as he approached the bum.

It was Arland!  He had been one of the orphaned in Lansing.  His arms were scarred from razor slashes, just as Phil remembered.  He was as bald as a cue ball, just as he remembered.  He was covered in tattoos, just as… wait.  There were less tattoos.  There were less cut scars.  Phil frowned for a moment.  He tapped his staff on the ground.  He shoved his hand into his trench’s pocket and held the marble sphere.  The worlds of spirit and energy leapt into sharp relief, and Phil saw Arland as he was before he had awoken to his power.

He approached the bum Arland, and handed him a ten-spot.  Arland mumbled a slurred reply, and Phil saw how dilated the man’s pupils were.  He scribbled his cell number on a piece of scrap paper and handed it to Arland.  The wind shifted, and Phil almost gagged.   “If you need to talk, or anything weird happens, give me a call.”

“Uh, sure.”  The bum took the paper and Phil walked briskly away.  This might not be the same world, but it was pretty damn close.  That raven.  That cursed ancestor spirit.  Fucking tricksters.

Sure, it couldn’t help, much less deny, its nature.  Phil had come to it, not the other way around.  He had finally come to terms with what had happened in the glass tunnel.  The quest for the spirit had focused him and let him mourn.  He had mourned all of his fallen comrades, most of whom he couldn’t remember.  He had mourned Crashing Boom-Boom and the Harley Davidson.  He had celebrated for the spirit of the house, which he had released.

Phil had cut all ties, because it had felt like the right thing to do.  Then, after questing for what seemed like an eternity, he had collapsed into the raven’s nest and fallen asleep.  When he had awoken, it was staring down its beak at him.  He had asked it for the path to understanding.  It had told him that for this gift, Phil would seek out and console a lonely friend of his.  The raven had said that he was qualified, because the spirit inhabited a house.  Phil had fallen back asleep, and then woken up in the Ann Arbor train station.

He stopped in front of a used theatrical costume shop.  He had spent a lot of time with the spirit, and it was time to let go of Harley.  Phil sighed, gripped his staff tightly, and walked in the store.

The bell over the door jingled.

Horoscope

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): This is the one of the shortest horoscopes I have ever written for you. That’s because there is just one simple message, which you should take to heart in a hundred ways. Are you ready? Trust yourself as you have never trusted yourself before. Trust your perceptions, your feelings, and your body. Trust your bratty whims, your weird longings, and your momentary lapses. Trust your urge to merge, your itch to bitch, and your yearning to learn. Trust your ability to know exactly how to trust.