Author Archives: David Crampton

[Michigan Poets] Hurt. Again.

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Familiar and alien
the combination twists my insides
my heart and my stomach
my eyes and my soul

I had thought this left in the past
I had thought that it would never return
to be re-lived
This time, the ice shattered
Spilling out liquid fire
in wracking sobs

That is why I’m still bitter
she said
because I still love them all
wounds don’t heal

I’ve been hurt like this before
but never like that.
Almost exactly like this, in situation
but never like that, afterward.
Just the same, in disappointment
but different, in determination.
Word for word, in your self-doubt
Every syllable changed, when I shattered.

Today, my hands gripping the cold
metal spikes
by the churning river,
I doubted the hope within me.
It felt so dim.

Nothing between two people
is perfect
We’re changed now,
because of what you did.
Less starry-eyed perfect
More earthen reality
We doubt our strengths
But not our desire for
each other – forever.

I will not take my name back
from you.
Not this time.
Never forget what I said
amidst running nose
tear-red eyes
sob-wheezing breath
I cannot forgive again.
This is too much for me to live with
a second time around.

Live your love for me
every day and every minute
in every step and every word
every action you take.

Time will prove that you can
or that I was wrong, one more time.

Racing mind.

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Yesterday was a swing day. Had a bit of manic, had a bit of depressed, had a bit more of manic, and then actually got things done, which always helps soothe that savage beast.

I went to bed an hour later last night, because I didn’t have to come in to work until nine. It was nice to see the sun again on my trip in. However, my lunch has also been moved back an hour, so I won’t get it until around 2. Argh. Same time periods between starting and breaks and lunches as before, just an hour later.

The move is just over a week away.

I finished reading Dragon Tears by Dean Koontz yesterday. That makes that, Jyhad vs. McWorld, Urban Primitive, and Adventures in the Dream Trade that I’ve read at work. I’ve just started Small Gods by Terry Pratchett. Damn you, , for lending this to me. *shakes fist* It’s going to color my writing for chapters to come. Heh.

I brought leftover chicken in for lunch today. Mmmm, tasty.

Better now.

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This morning and early afternoon, I finally let my job get to me. My good attitude finally suffered a crack, and… well, I was moody to say the least.

There have been some rocks between and I. We are working on dealing with them. Hey, what do you know, we’re not storybook after all. ;)

I went outside on my lunch break, took in the grey skies, felt the cool air and lightly misting rain on my face, and much of the tension just washed away. I could suddenly breathe again.

So, I’m in a better frame of mind, though still annoyed with people who decide to call while I’m attempting to read and/or type up LJ entries (heh).

Sometimes Sleepy Skippy Stabs Suspect Students

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I called on the phone while I was on the way to work this morning. She woke up the second time. :) Good thing, too, cuz I was pretty damn sleepy.

I’m not too worried about her cryptic posts, as our conversation was it’s usual over-sappy goodness.

Today has a meeting in it to break up the monotony of taking calls, and my lunch is earlier than normal. I’ve got leftovers from home, which are almost always really good.

More to come later, I’m off to the meeting.