Moments flash under my eyelids
Brighter than sun, darker than blacklights
Whorish memories claw
up from where I’ve imprisoned them
to glory in the depression and doubt.

I went to those parties
for the first two times
for women that I wanted to really, really know.
What a crushing sensation
adam’s apple up under my jaw

I have a will, the will of a leader
and the charisma to back it
every day I see people who would follow me
if I’d let them
And I feel the crumbling inside
for so many women.

Where is the switch that does this?
How can I keep my strength and
keep my passion?

The dull growl won’t leave the back of my head
I keep spotting
female
and I want like hunger
desire, crave, fiend, these arent good enough

Prowling the perimeter
of need
beat of the track thumping my sternum
I swear to the gods
woman
will not defeat me

I will be satiated
I grind my teeth.