WARNING: This entry contains some adult references, and is Not Safe For Work. Proceed at your own risk.
What is going through Susan’s mind?
- Human fear of judgement and reaction from the scars on her arms.
- Human and vampiric lust. She wants him, and she wants to drink from him.
- In the back of her mind, she’s pleased with herself at her successful seduction, but worries that it’s another step away from being human.
- Leave the shower scene where it is, maybe have her come in covering up her inner arms.
- Next scene should be the following morning, Adam waking up nude on the couch, no idea where his clothes are.
- He’ll go over the night before, his exhaustion, her scars, her complete lack of hair, the experience of her cleaning him like it was a holy rite,
WAIT. STOP. This story is told from Susan’s POV, not Adam’s. Let’s flip this around, shall we?
- Leave shower scene as it is, maybe have her come in covering up her inner arms.
- Next scene should be the following sunset, Susan waking up nude and hopeful.
- She’ll get dressed, going over the night before, his exhaustion, lack of judgement about her scars, his excitement over her complete lack of hair, how he’d seemed to enjoy the cleaning, how they’d ALMOST had sex and/or fed.
- Find out what Adam had been up to during the day. Made himself at home? Sammy-style research from a laptop that he didn’t have at the end of the last book? Does Susan have a computer in the apartment?
- What color are Susan’s eyes? Her sister’s? Need to know that for when she meets Adam. What is the sister’s name?
- The sister has been dreaming about Adam, and will speak to him, but will still be confused. She’ll want to talk about the green cavern and the story writers, not what happened to her compatriots.
- When they do get her to speak of it, she’ll recount the events haltingly, and she’ll go on a rant about Walter’s eyes, an imbalance of powers, and the demon. It’ll tangent, like conversations do.
- The sister is on house arrest at her home, and is guarded by several uniformed CPD officers. If they are in the home during this (likely taking notes for the investigation into the murder of three officers), they will certainly react to the strangeness.
What am I trying to accomplish in the next chapter?
- Continue getting to know Susan.
- More about her ties to Michigan and John.
- Introduce Susan’s sister, the woman in Girl Ritual.
- Expand on the Cavern that showed up in the last book’s epilogue.
- Reveal to the characters that not only is Walter meddling in this Chicago, but he is physically there searching for the gun.