Writing Journal

Originally written on 13 February 2018

Notes:

How do I want to handle the “last” conversation between Susan and Nat? Nat will have done her homework, and tried to prepare for her journey as best she could, without worrying the police officers too much.

Adam’s not with them, and is likely still sleeping back at the apartment.

Susan is exhausted, even after a day’s sleep. She’s traumatized, much like her sister, and is barely keeping her cheese on her cracker. She knows that “losing” her sister is inevitable, at this point, but it doesn’t make any of this easier.

They’ll start just hugging, I think. Crying quietly. They’ll talk, sort of, about the demon. They’ll talk about what’s in store for each of them. Nat will reveal that she’s known about Susan’s other family, and urge her to leave. When they’re done talking, and Susan is leaving, she’ll turn back to say something, and Nat will be gone, along with the stuff.

Susan will stay upright, with the help of the wall, and then will head off to Yeong-Cheol.

Edits

  • The coffee bar needs to change to the Wormhole in Wicker Park. That neighborhood fits who Susan wants to be like a glove.
  • Car fire should be on the border of residential and industrial zones in the South or West side.
  • Nat’s house should be in Edgewater.

Writing Journal

With the rewrite finished, I’m back to the spot where I can start writing new goodness again. I need to do some re-ordering.

First, the phone call with the officer about Natalie clothes shopping for someone else needs to be moved later, much closer to where Susan has her last face-to-face with her sister. If not then, it needs to be right after the vampire vs. demon battle. Maybe then, so the tension about her sister is kept fresh. It doesn’t belong in the middle of Susan’s conversation with the scavengers, though. Also, moving it means that I don’t have to rush it.

Then there’s the battle itself. How do I work the transition between the conversation into the battle? Maybe I could have them knock Susan and Adam out and lock them in a room, then have them wake up mid-battle? How do you knock out a vampire? Well, it’s a place to start.

Did I have a reason for Susan to go and speak with/confront her creator? Other than displaying that she’s come into her own? I can’t for the life of me figure out why I put that in this chapter. Let’s not even mention the complication of writing a character that’s loosely based on someone else’s LARP character, when I was never super friendly with that someone. Better to remove that cameo entirely.

That also means that I won’t be splitting up the character party. Good Thing.

Writing Journal

Written 23 July 2017

So, there’s a really jarring jump in the first chapter between Susan struggling with her thirst and Adam’s arrival. She just completely drops everything that’s been tormenting her because she loses herself in the bike. I give the shift a half of a sentence and that is just not enough.

It’s got to be more gradual. The forces in her need to duke it out. The thirst vs. The mesmerizing, this Sunday, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!!!

Instead of one defeating the other, they should be neck and neck when he sits down.

Writing Thoughts

Originally written on 21 April 2017.

I’m avoiding writing fiction. I’m also avoiding working on re-doing the speech bubbles for the beginning of Fight or Flight. The gaming video and the blog and the shutting down of my LiveJournal have had my focus, not to mention the Disney trip and work and blah, blah, blah.

Second time I’ve sat in Fleetwood this weekend, and I haven’t written a word of fiction. Most of Friday was spent working, and the rest was finalizing the new home network.

Today, though, I’ve just been draining my phone’s battery “making sure videos and posts got to social networks.” That’s not another way of saying getting sucked into Facebook. Not at all.

And here I am, phone down, laptop put away, notebook open, and I’m putting down words, but none are fiction. Am I harshing on myself too much? Am I afraid to keep pushing at recovering my love for making stories? Am I just too distracted by shiny things?

That reminds me. Since it doesn’t look like I’ll have a pressing need to be in Chicago coming up, I’ll need to pick a weekend to roam the Detroit area. Holy cow, are a lot of my old people holed up int he suburban Detroit sprawl.

Should I put up in a hotel in downtown D-town, or should I couch surf, or a combination of the two? Guess I’ve got to pick dates first, before I even know who will be available. A three-day weekend, I’m thinking. Either take a day off, or work the Friday with Paul.

I can’t say that I’ll start writing on my little jaunt, either. It’s too long to put off writing until then, and it’ll put a ton of pressure on me to write, and that is kind of the opposite of the point of a vacation. On the other hand, there are a lot of places I’d love to sit and write in Detroit proper.

Shit, I think it’s time to start the Chicago Adam’s Name over and re-write it, now that I know who Susan is, and what kind of conflicts drive her. I may not know enough about real-world Chicago to know enough about my fake Chicago. I think it’s time to pester some Chicagoans I know, so they can school me on the Windy City. Research and world building are the answer, because of course they are.

Writing Journal

Originally written on 27 November 2016.

It’s time to page back through the current story to see where I’ve gone wrong. I’ve hit that point where a pause becomes a block, and nine times out of ten, it’s because I’ve taken things down the wrong path. I need to keep in mind that this isn’t an editing pass, but instead it’s a recon mission. Let’s go backwards.

First suspect is the most recent bit, after they come out of the coffee bar, having gotten the info they needed from Yeong-cheol. Susan’s rage and fear and protectiveness catch up with her, and she flips out on Adam.

That was the intent, anyway. I don’t think it came across that way. I do a lot of telling here, instead of showing. I’ve done that a lot throughout this first draft, and that’s all right, it’s allowed to suck.

Thing is, I know who Susan is. Yeong-cheol, for all of his borderline bullying, knows who she is. SUSAN knows who she is. She’s not questioning or discovering that, like Adam is. She’s not rediscovering it, like her sister is.

She’s made the choice to hold on to as much of her humanity as she is able to. She’s chosen to follow love, to follow her living family, knowing full well what the possible repercussions are. Her conflict comes from dealing with the end of things, and that she brought it about. It’s not Adam’s fault, it’s hers. He’s doing exactly what she asked him to do.

Her caretaking of her sister is coming to an end. Her connection to her living family, as a consequence of that, is coming to an end. Her obscurity among her “second family” is coming to an end. Her punishment is coming to an end.

Yes, these are definitely precursors to new beginnings, but it’d be bad to skim over the pain and learning that come with all of these endings. I should be focusing on them.

  • Make sure the scavengers are not a monolithic group of stereotypes.
  • Have a bunch of the scavengers go with Susan to back her up with her creator.
  • During the first editing pass, focus on Susan knowing who she is, but allow her to still fear rejection.
  • Do some more research into OCD.