[Poem] Floating to the Surface

Floating to the surface
this memory of you
lying on my chest

The time since I felt that last
seems infinite.

Yet you always ended up
facing away from me.
Facing inward
wondering about your fear.

We did not sleep that night.
Once again,
you felt yourself slip
out of control.

Just like when you kissed me
so hard
so thrilling

I do not believe you
when you chant
“I do not need that.
I am so very different.”

You hate that you need
what may give you what you want
or what may destroy you.

We both think too much
but I’m not going anywhere
and I have chosen you.

Floating to the surface
this memory of you
calling me devious.

I distract you
and I distract myself
truths that I run from
truths that I run to

It all seems so complex
when I think
so many influences
pushing us both

What I feel is simple
and so very large
that it may crush me
grind me to dust

So easy to lose myself
in the beauty of your skin
as a bull-fighting vampire
I am transfixed and quiet.

So easy to lose myself
in the heat that flows
when I pull up your shirt
and rest my hand on your stomach.

No longer.
I find myself pledging once more.
My kisses are honest
My touch plain.

When I touch you now
you may feel that simple feeling
that threatens to crush me.
I will not fail myself.

Floating to the surface
this memory of you
pulling me up from sleep.

I claimed a right
to push you
and your anger
lashed at me

I bathed in this fire
while the fog
would not clear
from my mind.

Again, there was no filter
you must delight in the
childish honesty

I meant what I said
when I claimed that right
I meant what I said
when I confessed my love

I mean it all
even when it contradicts
I mean it all

Floating to the surface
this memory of you
listening to my tears

I can barely hold
this pencil
my hand is shaking

I have run
because of this
I have been angry
because of this
I have cried
because of this
I have forgiven
because of this

I may be broken
because of this
I may be shattered
because of this

But love can never
destroy me.

Floating to the surface
this memory of you
confessing to me.

You have told me
that to speak makes you happy
as your touch makes me happy

We should
talk and touch
and be happy.