Whenever I tried to look
my eyes slowly rolled
the image caught up
and the focus slowly came.

My rage boiled to the surface
and was gone again
blink of an eye, they’d say
my eyes were too slow for that

Had to make sure
I was stable
before I told my body
to walk

I was too slow.

I used to lay back in that
feeling
when it washed over me.
It made me smile
I was almost someone else.

I felt myself lay back again
it felt filthy
drowning in sludge
but I could not get back up.