I haven’t slept so well in months. Literally, months.

I haven’t been this personally motivated in years. About three and a half of them.

I’m ticking off the work checklist. And then I’m ticking off the real work checklist.

I still get a kick out of having an industrial m/ m/ kitchen table. You can SET FIRE to things on top of it.

I went shopping last night. And then I went grocery shopping. I’ll be finishing the real shopping with a trip to Sears and a trip to the MSU Computer Store. And then I need to go to Lansing’s courthouse and ask some questions.

No, I’m not going to explain. I’m being vague on purpose. Nyah-nyah!

I will roar again soon. This time, people will hear it.

development

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SAINTS ADRIAN and EUBULUS
Martyrs

(†308)

In the seventh year of Diocletian’s persecution, continued by Galerius Maximianus, Firmilian, the cruel governor of Palestine, stained Caesarea with the blood of many illustrious martyrs.  The Christians Adrian and Eubulus came from the region called Magantia to Caesarea, to visit the holy confessors there.  At the gates of the city they were asked as were all strangers, where they were going and upon what errand.  They spoke the truth, and were brought before the presiding officer.  He ordered them to be tortured, their sides torn with iron hooks, then condemned them to be exposed to wild beasts.  In the meantime they were imprisoned.

Two days later, for the pagan celebration of a festival of the local deity, Adrian was exposed to a lion.  The animal did not kill him, but only mangled him, and finally his throat was pierced with a sword.

The judge offered Eubulus his liberty if he would sacrifice to idols.  The Saint, however, preferred the glorious death of Christ’s true disciples, and two days later won the crown his companion had also conquered.  Saint Eubulus was the last to suffer in this persecution at Caesarea, which had continued for twelve years under three successive governors.  Divine vengeance was pursuing the third of those, the cruel Firmilian, who was beheaded for his crimes that same year, by the emperor’s order, as his predecessor had been two years before.

Yesterday was the birthday celebration with my dad, which was way cool. fit right in, and we had many good laughs and much good food.

We missed hanging out with because of time constraints, and I apologize for that.

After that, we hung out with , , and Rachel. Good times, talk about dreams, and mourning about predictions come to pass.

Cap the night off with some good sleep. A good day all around.

I was able to pay back for what she did for me at the 603 Halloween party. Ouzo instead of Jose Quervo Especial. Well, Ouzo, beer, rum, cider, and hard lemonade. Mixy mixy bad. Heh. She’s feeling better now, which makes me worry less.

Soon, we’ll be off to my parents’ place in Shelby Twp. for the Dad’s birthday party. He turns 56 on the 6th, but we’re celebrating today. I miss my mom’s food.

From my paper journal:

I’m defensive, frustrated, angry, and hurt. I feel like holding my head in my hands, gripping tufts of my hair, and moaning about “what was I thinking.” Real oh-woe-is-me shit. It’s been a while since I’ve gotten angry at something. I wonder why I chose to get publically angry over Ani and Abby. Recipie for drama if there ever was one.

I had just made the final decision to let her back into my life as a friend again, without holding her at arm’s length. Ani, that is. I have to wonder how I can already be thinking that it might have been a mistake. That’s not really my worry, though. Arm’s length or not, I chose today to let myself become angry over rumor and possible events about someone that I have purposefully removed from my life. I took the low road. Then, I let it be magnified by comments that I could have taken and passed over. But did I? No. I got hurt, embarrassed, and angry.

Head. Ass. Now.

Am I wrong to take the events of someone that has hurt and disappointed so many of us so many times to heart? Am I foolish to let myself get this upset when it feels so needed? Am I suckered by the maelstrom that is Ani once again? No, I love her because she is the maelstrom. The Dragon’s Fang to my Flame of Tar Valon. I made the right decision to take her into my life again. I made the right decision to let myself get angry that her child may be born in a prison.

I made the wrong decision in getting angry at Abby. I made the wrong decision in directing my anger at her in an online, public forum.

So mote it be.

You are a Dreamspeaker, caterer to the Spirit World
and protector of the most ancient ways.

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Journal Entry #3 – May 3rd – Teenagers
What is the hardest thing about being 13? Is it school pressure? Is it parent pressure? Is it peer pressure? Is it all of them combined. I’d have to say the hardest thing about being a teenager is school. I just made the transition from grade school to Junior High School. There are a lot more things to pressure a kid with. One of the new things is changing classes. You have to worry about getting to class on time. Another thing is switching from mostly female teachers to mostly male teachers. I think Switzer prepared me for Malow well. We didn’t have to change classes on our own, but we stayed with our class. So, during 4th-6th grades we “traveled” with our class. Getting back to the subject. Another hard thing about being a teenager is all the responsibility my parents cram me with. I babysit, so that gives me a heap of more responsibility to deal with. Another thing is all the bad ideas grown-ups get about teenagers. Not all teenagers deal and use drugs. Not all teenage girls get pregnant. A lot of teenagers are more responsible than some adults.

Thank you for all that replied to my rant about and .

I’d like to clarify.

The post was a rant, plain and simple.

• got herself into this, and deserves the court date and any punishment that comes from it.
• Of course could never have known about the pregnancy.
• Of course turning her life around is doubtful for any of us that have seen her repeatedly make decisions that have lead to this sort of thing.

THIS is what I’m ranting about:

• SEEMS (not for sure, just seems) to have purposefully waited until was out and would, in the unlikely event of reformation, be looking forward to dealing with future goals and putting the past into the past.
• The timing SEEMS to be designed to maliciously cultivate hopelessness, instead of just adding up the punishment in a timely manner.
• Despite intention, there is now a possibility of a child being born in prison.

All of this makes me irrationally angry and upset. Thank you for reading and adding your thoughts. And thanks for letting me clarify what’s in my head.