Eye Squinty

Black Adder marathons are nice, especially when they’re with cool peoples.

Had a great time. Missed . My own damn fault. Next time, we’re gonna hafta plan a place and a time.

My game went ok. Need more players. Anybody that reads my journal interested in a Sabbat LARP? Heh.

I vacuumed my whole apartment. Well, except for the bedrooms. I’m going to vacuum mine tonight. I cleaned three layers off of our counters and stove top. More to do. Only so much cleaner chemical smell… wooozy….

I like juice.

Next weekend I’m going to go to IPM. Well, if they’ll have me. I had other stuff I wanted to get done in Detroit, but I can’t remember what they were at the moment.

That could be related to my attempt to wean myself from the ibuprofin. Maybe it’s too early, cuz my knee throbs.

Anime is good.

I am frustrated with myself again, but only in steps. I’m getting a lot done, but how much of that is just filling the space while I procrastinate from doing what I really should? Like making cryptic journal posts. :)

Yeah. Fun Black Adder marathon.

[Poem] Moments

Moments flash under my eyelids
Brighter than sun, darker than blacklights
Whorish memories claw
up from where I’ve imprisoned them
to glory in the depression and doubt.

I went to those parties
for the first two times
for women that I wanted to really, really know.
What a crushing sensation
adam’s apple up under my jaw

I have a will, the will of a leader
and the charisma to back it
every day I see people who would follow me
if I’d let them
And I feel the crumbling inside
for so many women.

Where is the switch that does this?
How can I keep my strength and
keep my passion?

So I’m listed on the In Perpetual Motion Staff web page, which is cool. I’m not sure how I feel about that railroad engineer’s hat, though. Heheheheh…

Oh, SCHWEET! is going to be in town on Saturday and I get to have lunch with her! I’ll get to ask her how her Nirvana collection is coming along, and talk about power chords. Hee hee.

I finally did laundry yesterday. And put too much pressure on my knee. Again. I’ll learn one of these days. Luckily, all I get now is angry muscles and tendons. No recurrances of dislocation.

I went to Pizza House for dinner yesterday. I had their Italian Sausage Fettucini Alfredo. Nummy.

I think I’m going to go and get some French Onion Soup at Bennigan’s for lunch today.

No more Corporate Skippy. I have my beat-up trench coat back.

[Poem] Woman

The dull growl won’t leave the back of my head
I keep spotting
female
and I want like hunger
desire, crave, fiend, these arent good enough

Prowling the perimeter
of need
beat of the track thumping my sternum
I swear to the gods
woman
will not defeat me

I will be satiated
I grind my teeth.

Profusion of mood swing triggers. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket. That’s got to be what’s causing it. The triggers. Not a predisposed affinity to the swings themselves.

I really, really, really wish this were true. But I am afraid, very afraid, that it might not be.

This one time, in band camp… bah….

I need to get over this. I need to move on, and consider new prospects. I’ve got to purge this emotion somehow… *sigh* I have no idea how or if I even want to…