[Poem] Moments

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Moments flash under my eyelids
Brighter than sun, darker than blacklights
Whorish memories claw
up from where I’ve imprisoned them
to glory in the depression and doubt.

I went to those parties
for the first two times
for women that I wanted to really, really know.
What a crushing sensation
adam’s apple up under my jaw

I have a will, the will of a leader
and the charisma to back it
every day I see people who would follow me
if I’d let them
And I feel the crumbling inside
for so many women.

Where is the switch that does this?
How can I keep my strength and
keep my passion?

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So I’m listed on the In Perpetual Motion Staff web page, which is cool. I’m not sure how I feel about that railroad engineer’s hat, though. Heheheheh…

Oh, SCHWEET! is going to be in town on Saturday and I get to have lunch with her! I’ll get to ask her how her Nirvana collection is coming along, and talk about power chords. Hee hee.

I finally did laundry yesterday. And put too much pressure on my knee. Again. I’ll learn one of these days. Luckily, all I get now is angry muscles and tendons. No recurrances of dislocation.

I went to Pizza House for dinner yesterday. I had their Italian Sausage Fettucini Alfredo. Nummy.

I think I’m going to go and get some French Onion Soup at Bennigan’s for lunch today.

No more Corporate Skippy. I have my beat-up trench coat back.

[Poem] Woman

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The dull growl won’t leave the back of my head
I keep spotting
female
and I want like hunger
desire, crave, fiend, these arent good enough

Prowling the perimeter
of need
beat of the track thumping my sternum
I swear to the gods
woman
will not defeat me

I will be satiated
I grind my teeth.

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Profusion of mood swing triggers. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket. That’s got to be what’s causing it. The triggers. Not a predisposed affinity to the swings themselves.

I really, really, really wish this were true. But I am afraid, very afraid, that it might not be.

This one time, in band camp… bah….

I need to get over this. I need to move on, and consider new prospects. I’ve got to purge this emotion somehow… *sigh* I have no idea how or if I even want to…

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I was on my knee too much this weekend. But it was worth it.

Friday, I hung out with and Greg instead of doing laundry. Luckily, I always give myself leeway with laundry, cuz I always put it off.

Saturday, I picked up and headed down to D-town. Dropped him off at his abode, and then at a cow-orker’s place.

Then I jetted to Shelby Twp. to hang with the parentals and the bro. Was actually quite a bit of fun.

Then I headed over to the Van Dyke Park Hotel for some ConFusion action. Ran into and got bored and unimpressed at the presentation named “fun with liquid nitrogen.” Wasn’t much fun. The hot dog didn’t even shatter. Ran into Adam, an old friend of mine from Freshman year at MSU. It took him a few minutes to recognize me with the feeble attempt at facial hair, lack of glasses, long hair, and (so he says) loss of weight. I ended up tagging along with a few of his friends and him for a lot of the day. Let me assure them once more, there are NO AUTHENTIC MEXICAN RESTAURANTS near the Tech Center or the Hotel. We looked for at least a half hour.

After that, it was IPM which was hella fun. I was treated to a scarf dance, pondered at how people can stay semi-sane while watching over a bunch of 4-year-olds, and submerged myself in general silliness.

Sunday, I had a great lunch with my family, congratulated my brother on finishing his second episode of Revenge of the Terrible Tuesday, and promised to attempt to find him web hosting for the show. Every time I see those episodes, I bust a gut. And, as soon as I have compressed copies, I will be posting them for internet viewing. Damn Skippy. :)

Then I drove home and putzed around for a bit and read. I picked up the Gorillaz CD, and really dig it. Then, she and I went and saw Black Hawk Down. First off, she is SO F’CUTE with her new haircut, it should be illegal. Second, that movie is one of the most intense I’ve ever seen. Kudos to the producers and team that made it.

Ok, done with the run-down. Next post will have more deep thoughts and ruminations.