[Poem] Moments

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Moments flash under my eyelids
Brighter than sun, darker than blacklights
Whorish memories claw
up from where I’ve imprisoned them
to glory in the depression and doubt.

I went to those parties
for the first two times
for women that I wanted to really, really know.
What a crushing sensation
adam’s apple up under my jaw

I have a will, the will of a leader
and the charisma to back it
every day I see people who would follow me
if I’d let them
And I feel the crumbling inside
for so many women.

Where is the switch that does this?
How can I keep my strength and
keep my passion?

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So I’m listed on the In Perpetual Motion Staff web page, which is cool. I’m not sure how I feel about that railroad engineer’s hat, though. Heheheheh…

Oh, SCHWEET! is going to be in town on Saturday and I get to have lunch with her! I’ll get to ask her how her Nirvana collection is coming along, and talk about power chords. Hee hee.

I finally did laundry yesterday. And put too much pressure on my knee. Again. I’ll learn one of these days. Luckily, all I get now is angry muscles and tendons. No recurrances of dislocation.

I went to Pizza House for dinner yesterday. I had their Italian Sausage Fettucini Alfredo. Nummy.

I think I’m going to go and get some French Onion Soup at Bennigan’s for lunch today.

No more Corporate Skippy. I have my beat-up trench coat back.

[Poem] Woman

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The dull growl won’t leave the back of my head
I keep spotting
female
and I want like hunger
desire, crave, fiend, these arent good enough

Prowling the perimeter
of need
beat of the track thumping my sternum
I swear to the gods
woman
will not defeat me

I will be satiated
I grind my teeth.

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Profusion of mood swing triggers. Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket. That’s got to be what’s causing it. The triggers. Not a predisposed affinity to the swings themselves.

I really, really, really wish this were true. But I am afraid, very afraid, that it might not be.

This one time, in band camp… bah….

I need to get over this. I need to move on, and consider new prospects. I’ve got to purge this emotion somehow… *sigh* I have no idea how or if I even want to…