TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The Johor Baru prison in Malaysia has begun offering thrill-seekers the opportunity to stay overnight. For a mere $17, a curious traveler can experience the adventure of getting locked in a dank cell, eating bad food, and having no pillow while sleeping on a wormy mattress. I sincerely hope that none of you will travel to this new tourist attraction in the coming week. For that matter, I trust you won’t check into a metaphorical version of the place, either. There is absolutely no reason for you to visit other people’s hells or mistake ordeals for adventures.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I don’t recommend that you aim for perfection–not now or ever. I’m equally skeptical of you seeking enlightenment, as it’s defined by Eastern religions. Perfection and enlightenment are downright impossible in a world where change is the only constant. What constitutes perfection or enlightenment today won’t be valid tomorrow, when the truth has evolved and God has showered us with an influx of previously unimaginable new circumstances. No, Taurus, what I suggest is that you cultivate love with all your ingenuity–both the capacity to give it and receive it. There’s no other undertaking that does more to build up your power and intelligence. And this week is an ideal time to be living proof of that fact.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): From the window of my office I look down on a blackberry bush whose berries are now ripening. In the last 20 minutes, I’ve watched a sparrow figure out the best way to feast. At first the bird tried to land on the flimsy branches of the bush, but after a few tries it realized they couldn’t hold its weight. Its revised strategy was to grab a single berry in mid-swoop and alight on the branch of a nearby apple tree so it could relax with its meal. It did this ten times. I recommend a similar approach to you, Taurus. According to my astrological analysis, you won’t be able to enjoy your treats in the place where you find them. You’ll have to pluck them, fly away, and savor them at a distance. Like the sparrow, you should keep returning for refills.