This was written after the 15 May 2005 game and the 18 May 2005 downtime session.
I’ve been filled with pity for myself since I left my apartment, went to my friend’s funeral, and found out he’d gone Nephandus. It wasn’t mourning, like I told Midas. It was pity.
Once again, I turn to a pen and these sheets of paper. My need for organizing my thoughts is more pervasive than I’d thought. Okay, breathe in, breathe out. Re-visit old topics, add new info and discoveries, then move on.
– The ley lines, the sigil, the ritual, and the ward.
Harry is still translating. We may figure this out on our own before Harry finishes translating. This isn’t a slight against Harry; I’m sure French is a bitch. Re-erecting the ward may now be a moot point. The new Deacons have decided to be a safe haven in the newly-dangerous Ann Arbor. Of course, this decision is made just before I find out why the damn thing is failing.
To my knowledge, the ward was designed to feed from three nodes in Ann Arbor. (So many for such a small area.) The node inside of The House, the node in the Chorister’s church, and the node on U of M’s campus. (Go green! Go white!) As far as I know, the shutdown of the church’s node is common knowledge. So, there goes 1/3 of the power. Apparently, even with 2/3 power, the ward should still be kickin’.
Am I the first one to wonder about the batshit Hermetic’s little Horizon Realm? Its entrance is opened from the node room. Every artificially-created umbral realm must be fed quintessence, or it will collapse upon itself. With the church node asleep and the Horizon realm sucking power from The House’s node, no wonder the damn ward is failing.
I have yet to figure out how old Ulysses is. However, I did find out that the ward has existed for one century, not two. This makes the math more plausible.
Victor. Mei Ling took it upon herself to speak with the construct, and we learned a bit about the Chorister because of it. She took her own life in shutting down the node. She prayed, she died, and the church became quiet. Apparently, there is something about the building that mutes Victor’s “smell” of us reality deviants. I think that if there is any hope for the Chorister’s ghost, the node in the church, or for the church itself, it lies in Kevin and his Templar buddies. Yeah, I’m surprised to hear me say that, too. I’ve yet to find out what Rory or Backspace knew about Victor, and I’m beginning to wonder if I should even pursue it.
– The vampires.
For creatures of stasis, they don’t sit around much. The one that took Nero has been contacted by those from Grand Rapids. He’s not exactly been leaving us alone. Now that I’ve stepped down from being Deacon, there is a much less friendly atmosphere in The House when it comes to blood-suckers. Both Harry and Midas are pushed by Terry’s convictions, and they are pushed to violence.
I have to admit, since Cole has already stepped down as “Prince” in Grand Rapids, his promise of protection seems to carry little weight, if any. The new “Prince” is the one who delivered the ring to us, and while that should calm me, I feel more uneasy than ever before.
Kevin and his aforementioned Templar buddies are in Lansing to fight the Lasombra and their vampire cult. After having seen them in action – just a little – my mind is eased about my old house.
– The ring.
We gave the ring to Senor Guano. The deal is over and done with, but it doesn’t feel that way. After finding out about the change in power in Grand Rapids and that Duncan was the one to pledge a lifetime of servitude, it feels far from over.
What the hell happened to Vinnie? Did he take off with Backspace when he found out about Rory’s death? Why am I getting paychecks from his company?
Oh, god. I don’t want to hurt anybody.
For the first time in my life, I am not alone. For the first time in my life, there is someone in my world that loves me without reservation or condition. And the sex is mind-blowing.
I was alone in Ann Arbor, convinced of my insanity (welcome back to the asylum, Phil) rather than of my existence and willpower. I did not examine my situation. I blocked out everything save The House. It was my charge, after all. It was Why I Am Here. And then, in the middle of Rory’s death, Harry’s sexual divergence, and my drunken stupor, Mei Ling simply appeared.
Together, we have supported each other in a time that neither of us are from. We have discovered more about our situation than I had thought possible, and we have been ready to give our lives for each other. Have I mentioned the sex? Because the sex really deserves mentioning. And revisiting. Often.
She keeps talking about babies. Children! The time spirit said that I have no wives that are yet alive. In the dream quest to the house with the rooms and the wives, every wife brought me safety, sanctity, and security. Not to mention the sex. But none of them brought me happiness. In the end, I went out of the house. I went to the garage, where Harley was. I woke him once more, and I left that place.
The home that I created in Lansing was like this. The House, when I would only see it and nothing else, was like this. Mei Ling is like this. It is not my destiny, nor my desire, to settle in one place or time. It is my lot to wander, as I am shown. I will not be in Ann Arbor forever. I am not the one for Deacon nor father. But what about husband?
The time spirit said that I have no wives that are yet alive. My Avatar has shown me that my faith in the wedding band is an old pattern, condemning me to do this again and again and again. He has finally spoken to me, and he has said that my relationship with Mei Ling prevents us both from moving forward. She wishes me safety, sanctity, and security. These are not in my destiny. In a field alongside the highway, I sat across a fire from him, and listened to him tell me that my destiny is to remain forever alone.
I can’t get the image of that man’s face, splattered across the motel’s parking lot, out of my mind. Yes, he tried to steal Harley. Yes, he pulled a knife on me. I see the images of the body and Ling’s bloody hands every time I close my eyes.
– Crazy or Enlightened?
When I was in the house in the dream quest, I was all of the me’s from all of the when’s. When I woke up with my hands around Mei Ling’s neck, and ended up on the floor with a broken nose (I’m lucky she didn’t try to kill me), I swear that I felt more me than I am now. The nose healed. The ridiculous amount of my blood reversed its flow and went back into my body. These are things that I cannot do, and I have been assured that no one else caused these things to happen.
I had a thought, before everything snapped, that maybe it was another me that had wanted to choke her. Kind of the opposite of the me that married (will marry) her. Maybe that caused the snap. Maybe it’s the paradox. Maybe it was waking up with my hands around her neck. Whatever it was, Quiet came back to visit me for a time. I went back into the asylum, and once more came out whole. Ling didn’t. Quiet is still with her, and her love for me has twisted into obsession. She and I must be separated for a time. I hope that Will’s training will do the trick. Either way, I let sleeping memories lie.
– Contact Backspace about Victor and Vinnie.
– Decide what to do about the wedding band.
– Find Raven and re-learn how to open the doorways in the Gauntlet.
– Tell Harry what I’ve figured out about the node and the Horizon Realm.