Thank you for all that replied to my rant about and .

I’d like to clarify.

The post was a rant, plain and simple.

• got herself into this, and deserves the court date and any punishment that comes from it.
• Of course could never have known about the pregnancy.
• Of course turning her life around is doubtful for any of us that have seen her repeatedly make decisions that have lead to this sort of thing.

THIS is what I’m ranting about:

• SEEMS (not for sure, just seems) to have purposefully waited until was out and would, in the unlikely event of reformation, be looking forward to dealing with future goals and putting the past into the past.
• The timing SEEMS to be designed to maliciously cultivate hopelessness, instead of just adding up the punishment in a timely manner.
• Despite intention, there is now a possibility of a child being born in prison.

All of this makes me irrationally angry and upset. Thank you for reading and adding your thoughts. And thanks for letting me clarify what’s in my head.

This was found for me by Seth:

http://www.paulgraham.com/nerds.html

“If I could go back and give my thirteen year old self some advice, the main thing I’d tell him would be to stick his head up and look around. I didn’t really grasp it at the time, but the whole world we lived in was as fake as a twinkie. Not just school, but the entire town. Why do people move to suburbia? To have kids! So no wonder it seemed boring and sterile. The whole place was a giant nursery, an artificial town created explicitly for the purpose of breeding children.

Where I grew up, it felt as if there was nowhere to go, and nothing to do. This was no accident. Suburbs are deliberately designed to exclude the outside world, because it contains things that could endanger children.”

• March, 2002 – does something very bad to and . assures me that charges have been filed.
• September, 2002 – gets out of prison from paroll violation. Warrant for previous action is missing. Seems to have never been filed.
• November, 2002 – stops drinking alcohol on a gut instinct.
• December, 2002 – (re)files charges with full knowledge that is out of jail. Warrant is issued.
• January, 2003 – discovers that she’s pregnant.
• February, 2003 – gets picked up for warrant after running a red light.

I am extremely angry at the purposeful and malicious waiting and re-filing that was involved here. If everything had been filed on time and properly, as had always insisted that she had, would have never been able to leave prison when she did. She would have been held until court dates. Period. She would not have the looming possibility of going to jail while pregnant, having a child in jail, etc, after she FINALLY turned her goddamn life around.

Petty, vindictive, malicious, worthless, lying, weak, pathetic, WASTE OF HUMAN FLESH! I don’t have the words for the rage and hate that I feel. I don’t have the words for the frustration that I feel, knowing that I will never be able to exact phsyical punishment for this action.

I just don’t have the words.

I’ve dropped off at school. I’ve eaten my sammich and am finishing the bag of Combos that we snagged for the Gaylord trip. I’ve done two sections of Apple’s Learn & Earn. I’m involved in pleasant AIM conversations.

And I have to go into the office in a few minutes. Curses!

I got all of my letter replies out yesterday. Today, I get all of the bills out. Oh, need to call Progressive as well. And pick up the coursepack for my class.

What’s with this getting things done? Bah!