Dig it.

Dig the flow, a closed circuit.
Can you feel the wierd that has hit me?
Yeah, you can feel that. As familiar to us as the panic.
As familiar to us as the doubt.

Dig the mutual return and acknowledgement. SYN/ACK
Can you feel the disappointment, and the drive to keep going?
Yeah, you can feel that. As familiar to us as suspender clips.
As familiar as being without money.

Dig the word that can’t encompass its own meaning.
Can you feel the determination build at the same rate as the fear of failure?
Yeah, you can feel that. As familiar to us as being out of our heads.
As familiar as the crazy and the glint in the eye.

You help me every day.

*sneak*sneak*sneak*

I’m sneaking a break from my final studying for my final. Uhm. That made sense in my head.

Then, no class until the fall. Tomorrow, we at GND record our radio commercial. I’m hoping it’ll be up by the end of the week. We’ll also be getting a free inkjet copier, slightly used, on my b-day.

Which is Saturday. I’ll be twenty-six.

Woah.

Somehow, I feel like things are aligning ahead of me instead of behind me. Well, this is new.

Also, game on Friday was a lot of fun. Game on Saturday was a lot of fun. And the game I ran on Sunday seemed a lot of fun. I think we’ve crossed some old roadblocks. And there’s a Marauder. Hee hee!

I’m going to go and shave my face.

While the shower warms up… IF the shower warms up…

It seriously looks like I’m going to get a 4.0 in this Buddhism class. I think I’m going to head out to Theio’s to do some letter-writing and studying before LARP tonight.

How is it that the Camarilla just seems to be getting more and more enjoyable? Well, the Vampire game anyway. I think Ishmael’s shifts from Paranoid to Hsyteric were more subtle than usual last night. More of a gradient than a flipping of the switch. And I FINALLY got the cross pin prop for him. If there is one great thing about Cho Cho’s roleplaying, it’s that he recognizes the importance of costuming. That bastard has the money to do it, too. Hehehehheh… Anyway, it looks like I’ll be writing articles for the Regional newsletter and might offer to take ACC Web from Albert. I’m not sure about that last one, though.

Yeah, so, I, uh, installed WinDEU on my Windows 98 machine on Thursday and, uhm, I may actually finish my half-finished DOOM Deathmatch levels that I left off in 1995. Yeah. *scratches back of head, anime style*

I test-drove a Vibe. Yeah. Orgasmic. The 200-watt stereo produces bass, even without a trunk. I was impressed. The steering wheel is tiny, though, and is way close to the console.

Oh, and there’s a new personage on LJ. Check out , she’s coo. (Remember the Goodfeathers in Animaniacs?) And I forgot to turn off the VCR so that Star Trek would record last night. Goddamnit. Maybe I should pick up the TV remote, now that Cho Cho found it.

Update

I’ve disconnected my land line. No need to pay two bills, and I’ve finally gotten off of my ass and called SBC. Anyway, I’ll be available at my cell from now on.

, THIS is my angry icon.

made me check my mail. I have three wonderful letters, a credit card bill, and a notice of overdraft from my bank.

I want to smash everything. I want to throw my television against the glass sliding door, and make sure that my body gets mixed up in the shattering of glass, so that shards of me will mingle on the floor, get swept up, and not have to worry any more.

In one of the letters, my mother sent me an Easter card. With a $20 bill inside. Dad gave me a $20 when I left. For gas, he said. Now I’m able to go to Theio’s and buy a pop so I can study there, instead of here with all the distractions. What about campus, you say? What about free parking, I say. Not until after six, I say.

After class, I will be spreading flyers across MSU.

I gnash and grind my teeth, feel the wings spread from my back, and resolve to shatter the world so that I may survive.