it seems that i opened that case
so long ago
and that so much has changed
and happened
since then

things are less clear and more focused
shorter temporal span
in my outlook of ages upon my world
which throbs
and undulates

sometimes i need to tear out my hair
scream out loud
why am i so fucking stupid when i think
considering the rationally
repugnant

all i want
all i want
is lasting quiet
is a lifelong mate

maybe it’s too much for the world to bear
my succeeding.