Would it change us, for me to let her know?
Would it end this depression, this hurt and loathing
that I have inflicted on myself of late?

Would it drive her away, make her so nervous and
uncomfortable that she’d never want to see me again?
Would I lose her forever?

I doubt that there’s even a question.
It always pushes itself out of me.
It always demands to be known.

And I’m leaving her for a better job.
I’m leaving everyone that I know.
I’m leaving her.

This makes me nauseous.