i had my niche.
intelligent. creative. or artistic.
what kind of child were you?
(brought you by april)
Horoscope
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Tune in, please, to all the nagging itches that fester in the back of your mind and at the bottom of your heart. For now, do not attempt to scratch them; do not judge them; do not visualize them as frustrated desires whose purpose is to drive you mad with longing. Instead, Taurus, simply regard those nagging itches with reverence and curiosity. Give them room to breathe and allow them to speak their truths. Surrender to the fullness of the emotions they stir. It may take an hour or it may take a few days, but if you persist in this approach, the nagging itches will become your brilliant guides. They will instruct you as to what questions you most need to ask and they will show you how to move in the direction of the blessed answers.
RoadKillers are just pirates… Pirates of the Autobahn.
“Logic is good for playing pyramid chess, but often too slow for the needs of survival.”
I got a friendship bracelet yesterday. First time since I was, like, ten. It’s purple and black and dark blue. The same colors as the only “candy bracelet” I have. I also got two letters, one wich struck me speechless.
It’s a beautiful day outside. Overcast, light rain, with an alternating menacing darkness. It’s threatening to thunderstorm, and I’m calling it out. We need the rain pretty badly.
The new ethernet card works perfectly and is TINY. Did a net install of Linux, and it flew. RedHat 7.2, Gnome, and Ximian. Red Carpet is the b0mbx0r or something. I’m still stuck in the days where funky text was capitalizing either every other letter or just the vowels. This number shit is wacky. Heh. Anyway, the computer is happily running, and I’m wondering if I can do structural damage with my six-year-old dead ethernet card.
Laundry and AfterNow were good. The marinated pork chops and potatos were very tasty. I have enough left overs for at least two more meals, maybe three.
The
Tonight, after work:
-Oil change for the car.
-Purchase a hat.
-Wash dishes.
-Clean bathroom.
-Set up printer and Wine (windows environment for Linux) and cross my fingers.
Yesterday was good. Pushing myself into motivation. Checked my snail mail box. It was neglected for over a week. Lots of mail. I put the pork chops in the marinade and let them thaw. Coca-cola and vanilla vodka taste good together. Linux box, according to
So he brought in netboot disks to work, and I’m going to pick up a new ethernet card after my shift today. Twelve dollar quality ethernet cards are good. Discount PC is my friend. So, get that installed and the Linux install going over the net when I get home. While that’s going on, I need to do laundry and write letters and pay bills. A day of mundanity and catching up.
Once those things are done, I will be able to buy a kitchen table from MSU salvage, and look into some kind of shelving solution or something for my Transformers. Hrm.
[Carnival] Enemy: Certainty
The young boy, Tommy, that had vacated the contents of his over-full stomach into his lap earlier, turned his face from the scary man in front of him to the scary place that he had just been. The Rides.
The Rides… and, it was guessed, the Ridemaster… were encased in, and perhaps made of, a metallic webbing that looked like every cyberpunk movie ever made had vomited up its nightmares right on that spot. Every one except for the roller coaster. It was in the same draconic shape as when it had been… created? born? But now, it was a hulking, wooden, rattling beast. Its only metal pieces were rusted and conveyed every sense of being primitive.
They all worked. The roller coaster, the ferris wheel, the Tilt-O-Whirl, they all worked. One little boy had even vomited on the Ferris Wheel. Tommy. Neither Tommy nor his mother noticed the little metal spiders that were riding on his clothing like burrs. Inside the Rides, conduits of electricity, light, and thought flared, illuminating many of the tunnel-like areas of the Rides in an eerie glow. They resonated with a thought. “Little bastard.”
Here, Dragon was so free. He admired the craftsmanship of the clothes he had found himself in when he woke up. His trench coat and armor were stylized and adorned with runes in a flaring font that bordered on the remake of Lost in Space. His Warhammer was missing, but he sensed it somewhere amidst the technology that was surrounding him. He was connected to the Rides central annex by a cranial implant – a plug drilled directly into his brainpan. From here, his spiders were his eyes and his ears. They hadn’t spread over the Carnival very much, as the dust and general nastiness that made up the place, and the humans that populated it, would be detrimental to their sensitive equipment.
The roller coaster, though. That was the bitch of the situation. People were thrilled at his Rides. His re-made old ones, and his new VR Battle Mech Theater, and his new Perfect You ride. Each one was scaring the riders until they puked. “Little bastard.” And they loved every second. But the coaster was *killing* his spiders. It resisted every attempt he and the Annex made at upgrading it. It was far too much like that irrational, emotional, physically reliant creature that he had finally caged. He thought about it, and the hallways of the Rides pulsed with thought again.
“I’m not sure you exist.”
The coaster seemed to bristle, rattling in an alarming fashion. Somehow…. somehow it replied, in a snarling, lizard-like voice.
“I will be rid of you.”
The spiders that held the Rides together scuttled about in an alarming fashion as laughter echoed through the fiber, the copper, and the light.
Clenching Teeth
I almost wish they’d fire me. Then I’d get unemployment and be able to spend my whole day searching for a job. I wouldn’t have to come here and hate so much.
I’m pretty sure that I’m in a trough, as far as my depression/emotion swings are going. A lot of other people I know are too. I recognize the signs. Lack of a desire to get out of bed. Making mental notes to do things (like marinating the pork chops), and not doing them because it’s easier to just sit on the couch. Immediate frustration when things don’t resolve themselves either easily or completely of their own accord. The constant nagging of the lack of companionship.
These are all signs of the gift I’ve inherited. So, in a time with no motivation, how do I motivate myself to fight it?
More mundane stuff later.
I’m thinking again.
Everything is ready to go to apply for a better job at MSU. The Nisbet building will have two copies of my resume and my app to scan and put in their database on Monday.
Despite the bad reviews it’s gotten in the past, I have seriously enjoyed Lansing By Night, our local Camarilla fan club LARP. Friday was no different, though I was late and left early. Thai food with
I left the game early because
K-PAX. Thinking. F’ARGH.
Saturday thrift store shopping was good, though I didn’t buy anything. Some sadness was expressed that I wouldn’t be playing my controversial character at Fortress any more, but I don’t mind taking over the Changing Breed ST position there. I have many, many ideas. Now I *have* to get Grapevine working under Linux by Saturday.
The Temple was a great time on Saturday as well. And, oh, do I have plans.
Lansing has its claws deep in me.
Time to jump in the shower, go get an oil change and a hat ordered, then perhaps my usual day of writing at Theio’s.
Well, that’s shitty.
I didn’t get the job.