Tag Archives: Writery

[Excerpt] Adam’s Name

Posted on by

Have you ever wondered what a contrived hurry-up-and-let’s-get-this-started plot shift feels like to characters? I have. Click below to watch Seth and Susan go through it.

Maybe a little of both. Most likely I’m leaning towards suggesting you actually do it. I don’t feel like I’m signing your death certificate doing it. That, alone, means you should do it.

Seth reached for his coffee; his mouth was very dry. She was seriously suggesting that he start this. She knew better than anyone, and thought that he could pull it off. Something snapped inside of Seth, and all around him. The impossible felt possible, the unlikely felt likely. He felt dizzy, and clutched the edge of the table for support. In a panic, he looked across the table at Susan, and met her wild eyes. It only lasted a moment, and then Seth felt completely normal. He saw his arm and hand move to lift the pen, and then he began writing.

Huh. Well, I know when I should gather opinions and information. There are obviously the leftovers of past organized crime still here. I mean, we see it every day when we come in here. That means that there’s an established territory system. To do this right, we’d have to start in a place largely ignored by those in power, otherwise we’d be squashed before we could hold our own. How would you go about finding free territory?

Seth closed the book and slid it to the middle of the table. They both just stared at it for a moment. Susan reached for it, opened it, and began to read. What he had just written made him sound like he was excited to get this going. It made him sound like he had been utterly convinced by Susan’s calling him out about fear. That wasn’t right, was it? That couldn’t be the reality of the situation. He glanced quickly at the waiter and the clubbers. They seemed normal. Everyone in the diner looked normal. Maybe he was freaking out about nothing. Maybe he really was curious about what this would be like. Susan slid the book back over to him. She looked as if she was waking up from a dream.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
9,184 / 110,000
(8.3%)

[Excerpt] Adam’s Name

Posted on by

Oh, man, when this block broke, it was like a shattering dam. The words are just flowing, and it feels DAMN good. (That was a pun! Hee!)

The game/discussion between Seth and Susan has taken a strange turn. Seth isn’t sure if she’s playing head games with him, or really trying to get him to start an organized crime ring. And because I did so well at getting a ton out on paper, you guys get an extra-long excerpt! :)

Why not? Your honesty throws everyone, and makes them love you.

Seth sighed deeply and leaned back in the booth, making the vinyl creak. She was pulling out all of her trump cards for this round. HIs fanatical devotion to honesty had been what had earned him such a strange group of friends, and nearly every one of them would put themselves in harm’s way for him.

Love me as a Caesar would be loved, eh? I’m not denying the possibility. There have always been similar situations that have formed around me. The only reason that it would be crime that we got into is because the thugs would get the thrill from breaking rules. I wouldn’t survive because of the love, though. Either I wouldn’t return it, or someone else would want it.

Seth took a gulp of his terrible, cold coffee. He was sure that he didn’t have the temperament to lead anything like an organized crime ring. Gangs were too vicious and tribal, and ethnic mobs followed familial lines. What they were talking about was artificially creating those ties, with a goal in mind from the beginning. That was deception on a massive scale.

Or someone would return it. You would be brought down by someone else, the Boss always is, but Sol would be there to watch your back. Even while John was calling you stupid to your face. And your anger, and the power, would make you scary. The first time you got truly angry at someone and laid them out, your position would be solidified.

Seth smiled. He was sure that she was just playing the game, now. He was one of the least violent, least angry people that he knew of. Sure, he’d get frustrated every once in a while, but hitting people?

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
8,373 / 110,000
(7.6%)

[Excerpt] Adam’s Name

Posted on by

I wrote this yesterday, after finally getting over a block about the kids involved in the Little City Mafia. I couldn’t get them from Lansing to Detroit properly, and thought it would be really contrived and jarring, as once again, geography ends up playing an important part in the story. So, lo and behold, they’re now the Motor City Mafia.

I always hated geography. :) Everyone, meet Seth and Susan. They’re going to be terrible for each other, I can just tell. To set the scene, Seth and Susan are passing a notebook back and forth to each other across a table.

DETROIT, MI – CONEY ISLAND RESTAURANT

True. Or maybe they wish they were, and are only a group of guys who think they’re waiting for their day when they’re only waiting for death.

Seth looked up at her, concerned at this morbid turn. She sipped her pop, trying to hide the same smile that had set him off in the first place. Maybe if he could get her mind working, thinking of possibilities, she would let go of whatever it was that was getting under her skin.

Either way, with a middle-man like John, a desire to be who they’re trying to be, and an advisor like Sol, it could be done.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
7,334 / 110,000
(6.7%)

[Excerpt] Adam’s Name

Posted on by

Adam, meet everyone. Everyone, meet Adam.

ANN ARBOR, MI – HARLEY DAVIDSON DEALERSHIP

Adam rubbed his eyes in the bright sunlight. He squinted at the beast and its chrome armor. The salesman just stood off to the side, arms crossed over his sizable chest. Adam guessed that this guy was used to letting the bikes sell themselves. When you come to a Harley Davidson dealership, you probably weren’t window shopping.

“Yeah, she’s the one.” Adam shoved his hands in his front pockets and walked the salesman inside. If he’d never gone to Detroit, maybe he wouldn’t be spending half of his life’s savings on a way to get the hell out of town. Maybe he wouldn’t be running for his life… for his sanity. Maybe he’d be able to think about something other than a girl who’d kissed him and a witch on the roof of a Detroit parking garage.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
6,823 / 110,000
(6.2%)

Updating from 160 entries of friends’ posts.

Posted on by

Programmer testifies that he wrote software, after being hired by a candidate, that would fix an electronic ballot box, and leave virtually no trace.

This is how a real man acts.

What Valerie Plame did for the CIA, and why she was outed.

My labor day weekend was absolutely amazing. Ups and downs and camping and rowboats and my nose is peeling, but that’s because it’s the only exposed bit that I missed with sunblock.

The updates have stopped with the Steven fiction, for a few reasons. The site has moved, though http://darketernity.net/ still works. All of my projects are going to be subdomains of http://davidmcrampton.com/ , so the actual website now resides at http://steven.davidmcrampton.com/

More projects will follow.

I’m starting to get excited about NaNoWriMo. I’m actually going to give it a go this year. Yes, it’ll interrupt the current project, but it’ll likely be a breath of fresh air. Hell, maybe it’ll be The Glass Crown… the sequel to The Remembrance that a few have been bugging me for. :) Which, by the way, is an extremely nice feeling.

Also, I must remember to attempt my first drive-by signing. >:)

[Excerpt] Two Vampires

Posted on by

I’ve finished answering all of the motivational questions but two. They’re pretty damn pivotal, but I think the story needs to simmer more in my head before I can answer them. Once they’re answered, I’ll work them into the story as I work… here it comes… “Two Vampires” into a larger story, which has the working title of Adam’s Name.

So, without further ado, let’s watch the Hunter lose control in a Toronto subway:

The nausea passed, and the hunter slowly opened his eyes. The tile breathed more gently now. Control seemed just over the horizon, and he struggled not to force its return. If he did, he feared it might abandon him forever. The hunter did the only thing that was left to him – he prayed. If he pledged himself, cleansed himself, through his devotion, the Almighty would grant him control.

Two pair of leather boots stepped into his field of vision. One pair had four-inch soles. The other was a plain black pair of work boots. The hunter slowly raised his eyes to look the club-goers in the face, and his blood-drinking prey glared down on him.

For a terrible moment, he met their gazes, and felt kinship. For one horrifying instant, he wanted their curse. Tears began to wash down his face.

Megan patted the hunter on his head. She walked out of the subway station, hand in hand with Nicholas.

Zokutou word meterZokutou word meter
6,443 / 114,389
(5.6%)

Problem with motivation.

Posted on by

A writing community that I’m in raised some questions about motivation in Two Vampires, and I need to clear them up. So, I’m writing the questions here. I know the answers to a lot of them, I just need to write them down, and then make them part of the story.

Why does Nicholas follow Megan?

Megan was his friend in life, as well as the one who turned him into a vampire. The way that he describes her physical form in the first journal entry is supposed to portray a twisted love for her. This needs to be more consistent throughout.

Why does Nicholas feel uncomfortable / get petulant about writing in the journal?

Nicholas is used to placing Megan on a pedistal, due to his “love from afar” for her. Her abilities as a seer enhance this. On some level, he knows that she is attempting to teach him to do the same, and his discomfort is meant to be irrational. This is a question that the behavior is supposed to raise, but may not be completely answered when he finally writes about the future.

Why does Megan search for the Mother?

Megan feels driven to find the Mother, both by curiosity about where she came from and by certainty that it will happen due to prophetic vision. To answer a more universal, destiny-ish why, Megan and Nicholas are an impetus to shake the Mother out of simply passing the years, and into something more. That “more” is intended to be unanswered (for now).

Why does the Hunter target Megan and Nicholas specifically, instead of destroying any vampire that he comes upon?

This is hinted at when Megan discovers that the Hunter’s informant knows the location of the Mother. He is trailing them to kill them, yes, but also to find the location of the Mother. She turned the Hunter’s grandfather into a vampire, which comes out in the university library scene. So, revenge.

Why don’t Megan and Nicholas kill the Hunter in the subway station, when they have him at their mercy?

Crap. I don’t know.

Why does the Hunter suddenly want to become a vampire at that moment of stress and weakness, when he’s been trying to kill vampires for the entire story?

Both Megan and Nicholas have the ability to cloud the minds of those around them. Like prophecy, this is something that was inherited from the Mother. They are aware that the Hunter is coming for them at the subway station, and take advantage of the Hunter’s sleep-deprived state. Also, this is supposed to expose the Hunter’s doubt and base desires, through the bit about the Adversary. Some foreshadowing of this doubt is in order.

Why is the Hunter unable to pull the trigger on the Mother?

There are two main forces in play here. First, the Mother’s ability to cloud minds is far more developed than either Megan’s or Nicholas’. She has clouded his mind, in self-defense, to the point that he has difficulty telling his limbs to do anything. Second, the Hunter’s curiosities about what happened with his own grandfather, his battle with his shadow (the Adversary), and his self-doubts are rushing to the fore at this crucial point. He finds himself overwhelmed by everything.

Why does the Mother choose to turn the Hunter into a Vampire, instead of kill him?

Same thing that let him survive the subway. Now I just have to figure out what that is.

How is the Hunter a mistake from centuries past?

He’s not. It should be decades past, as the timeline does not allow for the Hunter’s grandfather to be centuries old.

Also: Megan’s prophecy should move from the end to the beginning. Duhr.

Every politician is a human in disguise. – Matisyahu