Yesterday:
In the last two days, I’ve written some pretty good stuff. Sure, it’s gaming related, about a character that exists in a White Wolf universe, but it felt really good to get it out. If you’re interested, you can see my Toreador character John wrestle to keep his humanity here:

It’s felt really good to write again. Like missing a favorite food for so long that you forgot that you missed it, until you had it again. I know that it hasn’t been that long since I’ve written, but it feels like it’s been that long since I’ve written.

I’m going to be hanging out with some seriously good people tonight. Lots of alcohol will be involved. After much food, which is probably a good idea for everyone involved. Did I mention I’m not paying for any of it? No? How about that work is picking up the tab? Morale boost, away!

I want to put down some words about and ‘s wedding, but I haven’t gotten them out yet. Fear not, when I do, they’ll be here. :)

Today:

I think that I am sick. About an hour before we were supposed to meet up for the LiquidWeb bar crawl, I felt all strange and was entertaining the idea of not going. Very strongly entertaining, though I hadn’t decided. convinced me to go, as did a call from . I had only eaten once, so when I got to Old Chicago, I was starving. We were early, so I ended up drinking a Smirnoff Ice pretty quickly while waiting for the others to arrive. When it came time to eat, I had a few appetizers, and only one piece of pizza. My stomach felt off. Kind of the same strange that I had felt earlier in the day.

I shrugged it off to drinking the Smirnoff Ice so quickly and not having eaten much before that, and went along with everyone else. The pub crawl was a great time. I really liked hanging with everyone, and it was a great time. I drank quite a bit, and was drunk when we left the exchange. It did feel like everyone else was more drunk, and that was odd to me, because I have nearly zero alcohol tolerance. We had gone from Old Chicago to the Exchange, and then off to Harper’s in East Lansing. There was literally no room to move in there. It sucked ass, and our boss had really pulled some strings to get us past the line and into the club. A group of five or six of us left there and headed toward the Peanut Barrel. Oh, yes, it was pouring rain by this point.

The walk was fun, and the rain was bordering on cold, which was exactly what I needed after being in the hot and crowded Harper’s. By the time we got to the Peanut Barrel, we were soaked to the bone. And…. it was full. Yay for East Lansing bars on a Friday night. We waited for a while, and by this time it was 12:30. and I decided to bail on the crawl at that point so that I would at least be human at work today. Oh, yes. My shift was supposed to start at 8 AM. We waited outside for fifteen minutes for to pick us up. We’d left our car up at Old Chicago, and taken the Hummer Limo with everyone else out to the bars.

The rain had stopped, but there was a strong wind at this point. A very chilly wind. I had been completely sober since the walk in the cold rain, and Benny was frozen. We got back to our car, and I drove us home. I got into bed, and couldn’t get warm. Me, the human space heater. I felt okay, but Benny kept saying how my skin felt cold and waxy.

We got to sleep, and I ended up waking up several times during the night needing to visit the bathroom, or take a Tums for acid issues. I tried to get up to go to work, and had a massive internal guilt argument about it, but I just couldn’t do it. I called in sick, and Sam stayed late to help Severin out.

I owe Sam a few beers, that’s for certain.

I slept past noon. I still feel cold. My stomach still feels strange, and I’m still making runs to the bathroom. The time in between has spread, so I have hope. I’m going to try to make it to tonight.

Wish me luck. :)

Good doctor’s appointment.

I sincerely believe that I have entered the Twilight Zone. My new doctor, after looking at the records on my Red Cross donor card, and hearing about my past BP, said that she is very happy with my blood pressure. She balked at the number of meds that I had been on, and was overjoyed that I was able to bring my BP down through walking and through stress reduction. She agrees with me that NO medication is needed, as long as I follow through with the CPAP machine.

Eliminating my sleep apnea almost guarantees a drop in weight and blood pressure, along with an elevation in mood, alertness, and attention span.

They’re getting my old records from the office in Ypsi, including the order and fitting of the CPAP that I had done at the end of my last insurance way back when.

I’ve never come away from a doctor’s appointment so happy.

Webcomics sound like my friends.

If I didn’t know better, I’d say that today’s comic was written by .

Input and output.

I’ve been taking in a lot of input recently, and not producing a lot of output. I’ve been catching up on the issues of City Pulse that I’ve collected in my back pack, as well as the issues of Wired that finishes.

I think that I have been using input as a way to escape output.

The odd thing is that I’ve felt honestly accomplished when I have finished reading these things. I’ve felt -good- about it. I’ve smiled, and felt satisfied.

I don’t doubt that I need to scale down input and scale up output. I just…

Every time I see pictures like these, I get an ache in my chest and think, “Oh, god, what I could do with that place.”

And then I think about what I haven’t done, and haven’t been able to do, with my own home.

I’m on a bit of an emotional roller coaster today.

This article relating an anniversary of Pearl Harbor and VJ day with today’s remembrance didn’t help much, but I wouldn’t give back reading it for anything in the world.

LiquidWeb is the best employer that I’ve ever had, I think. But today, I felt trapped and couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I wanted to stop being a computer geek and become a writer for a reason.

I went outside for a bit when I flipped out on a co-worker for no good reason. Thank goodness for telling me that I needed to take a break. I probably shouldn’t have taken my pipe out with me.

I don’t know if I can read any more about the obvious lies that are being fed to the American populace, and how easily the populace eats it up, simply because it’s easier than doing a little investigative footwork.

Also, I’m feeling like a terrible friend lately. I have an extreme amount of guilt relating to the blundering and flailing that I’ve done in regard to ‘s wedding. It will be a miracle when (not if, goddamnit) I get there, dressed to the nines, blinding everyone with my pasty knees and calves, and am finally able to simply be thankful that I was given this place of honor, instead of counting the ways that I could have screwed all of this up if Alex and weren’t on top of it.

Also, I don’t remember being flighty. Especially not in the ways that Benny (inebriated, but still) remembers me being flighty. This is cause for concern and for mulling over.

After a quick scan of the most recent entries of my Friends’ page, I am not alone in crankiness.