The rough draft was completed on Sunday night. I met with her yesterday, and she filled in some information, and corrected others.

She’s keeping my last name, because she doesn’t want to be associated with her father.

If I had the choice, I’d not let that happen, I think. I offered my name to her when I proposed. She’s not part of my family line, and has purposefully removed herself from being my family. There are plenty of other names to choose from. But she gets to keep the name. The only response I could think of – “That’s your choice.”

We talked for about an hour. She finally seems to be getting hit by this, emotionally. I’m finding it difficult to feel compassion… as I told her, she disappeared. I’ve been doing this without her, and I’m willing to keep doing this without her. She removed herself from my life, and now she wants back in. I’m not sure that I want her back in.

I’m nearly certain that it’s a bad idea to let her back in my life right now.

George and Lauren think I just need to give it time, and then I’ll know how I feel. They say that it’s finally real to her, where it’s been real to me since the day she took off her ring. The changing reasons for the divorce, the dropping off the face of the earth, the passive-aggressive attacks, and the repeated dishonesty about why we were meeting, or what she’d gotten done and hadn’t gotten done… these things were all very real to me, and still are.

But it’s just dawning on her.

About goddamn time.