TAURUS (April 20-May 20): During the lead up to Pennsylvania’s election of a U.S. Senator in 2006, the leftist Green Party in Pennsylvania tried hard to get its candidate on the ballot. Facing almost insurmountable odds to raise the necessary funds, it turned to an unlikely source: conservative Republicans, who gladly and fiendishly contributed money in the hope that the Green Party’s nominee would siphon votes away from their far more viable competitor, the Democratic candidate. I expect you may be able to pull off a similar coup in the coming weeks, Taurus: getting an adversary or opponent to aid and abet your cause.
Doing what I want, for me.
*sigh* I have been avoiding writing posts for this blog, I think.
I did not want to live in California. I do not want that. It didn’t take me long, once I was out there, to figure it out. I woke up from what felt like a years-long sleep, and knew that I wanted to come back to Michigan. And so, I’m back.
And I’m going back to the city that I built my life in. I’m going back to the city in which she and her family live. I’m not going back to my old job, so I won’t have daily interaction, but I am going back there. Because I want to live there. I want to write there. I want to be there.
So I’m going to. I have a job. I have a better job than when I left. I’m trying to find an apartment. And I’m moving on from the marriage. From the relationship. I’m stripping away layers of self-programming that were needed to live with her, and to be with her. I’m breaking down walls that I’ve set up to protect myself. And once again, my friends are helping me out.
I now know that I would not go back to her, if she asked. I’m done.
For six months, I was convinced that she and I would not work out as a couple. I was adamant that we would remain only friends. Eventually, I said that she had the qualities of the person I’d always said I wanted to be with long term, and compared to the women I’d been chasing, she did. So I decided to try and date her, to see how things went. Somewhere between that October 31, and the next one, when I proposed, I decided that I loved her. I don’t know that I ever fell in love with her, and I am beginning to suspect that I convinced myself I was in love with her, so that I would be safe from the crazy of what I’d been chasing.
Safe from the crazy. You heard me right.
The love wasn’t any less real for its beginnings. It was true, and the loss of its return is still painful. But to go back to her would make me miserable, and I’m no longer willing to accept that.
There were a lot of steps taken to get here, and so this may not be as coherent as I’d like. After some serious prodding, I’ve decided to resume posting here, and maybe after more posts come out of my brainmeats, this entry will make more sense. As always, feel free to comment.
Horoscope
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Moths, hummingbirds, and bats love to drink the nectar that flowers offer. In return, these pollinators are expected to get some pollen stuck on their bodies and carry it away to fertilize other plants. While the nectar is tasty, it’s usually not pure sweetness. If it were, the first pollinator to come along would suck it all dry, leaving nothing for further visitors. And that wouldn’t be good from the plant’s point of view, because it would limit the number of places where its pollen would be disseminated. To keep nectar-drinking sessions short, therefore, most plants include just a touch of bitterness in the blend. Regard this entire scenario as a useful metaphor for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks, Taurus.
Better late than never
I guess I forgot to post this.
I got the job. Waiting on the offer letter. :)
Ego boost.
I appear to have rocked the interview. Nailed it. Walked away a winner. Needless to say, I feel good about how it went.
My interviewer and I geeked out for a good hour and a half. Various BBS software packages were mentioned. As were Windows 3.1, Desqview, and OS/2 Warp!.
If I get the job, I’ll be learning how to script, and to make apps play nice with each other.
I’ve got my fingers crossed. :)
Weekly Word Count
This little snippet of Adam’s Name has been one of the most difficult edits that I’ve done. But, I’ve done it, and sent it off for further review. :)
I was totally taken by surprise when I started to see posts in
Instead of doing NaNoWriMo this year, I think that I’m going to set aside two hours each day to work on current projects. If I can do it for a month, maybe I can do it afterwards, too.
Car update
Let me get this tangent out of way at the beginning. I’m listening to DJ Suppli (hee!) spin on the podcast of last week’s show. It is as good as I thought it was. Better, maybe.
Also, if you’re into DubStep or DnB, there’s an event in Detroit that you might like. It’s called Positive, and the details can be found here. I highly recommend going.
So, I bought the car. :) It has been licensed, registered, and tagged with a locator beacon for the black helicopters that the government is using for mind control with technology borrowed from aliens.
Er…
*straightens tinfoil hat*
I took it to a trusted mechanic today, and thankfully the engine and transmission look to be prime. It needed a new battery, a new serpentine belt (both original!), and a replacement bulb on one of the side blinker lights. There’s a laundry list of things that will need to be worked on just before and/or during winter, but those can wait until I have income.
Oh, and I put on new wiper blades this morning. The old ones needed to be replaced like woah.
The good news is that it’s approved for travel, safety-wise. Even better, I have a job interview/”come in and talk with us” on Monday at a web hosting company in Lansing. This coincides nicely with some plans that I’ve made for Sunday, so it’ll likely be a two-day trip.
Now, I’m thinking of going out to the porch to watch the rain and wind.
Weekly Word Count
Yesterday I got through that stuck spot on Adam’s Name. I’ve got a couple more passes to do to tighten it up, and then I’m sending it off to
I’m thinking of taking down the RTF versions of my short fiction. Anybody have an opinion on that? Does anyone use them?